Sweet surrender
by Missmarybeth
Summary: Cassie's a complete Martian when it comes to boys, completely oblivious, so when badboy Will Herondale offers to tutor her in all things boy in return for Maths lessons, Cassie snaps up the opportunity. Problem? Jem Carstairs is a total sweetheart & Alec is too adorable to refuse. Choosing is the hardest thing she'll ever do. Swearing & adult themes. Tmi characters included. **OC**
1. The roof

**so hey guys! ive been working this over for months now, deciding whether I should or should post for ages. Yet I read something similar called The Art Of Kissing by a writer called Whispers-Of-Warning, and it gave me confidence that I would get a good response. I did initially post this about... Can't remember August last year but on a different site and I didn't get many reads so I took it down. Hopefully this will be different tho. Enjoy!**

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I sat at the back of the classroom, tapping my pencil impatiently as Mr. Harris waited for Will to a sweet he maths question on the board. We'd been sat here for at least a minute as Will stared vacantly at he numbers on the board.

_The answer is x-2_. I told myself for the seventeenth time, scowling at the back of Wills black haired head. No one can be that stupid, not even the infamous Will Herondale. He has the reputation of a heartless badboy who cares about no one and nothing apart from his motor bike and quite possibly his own face. Not that I blame him. He has elegant features, high cheekbones, long, thick lashes framing deep violet-blue eyes and black hair that falls almost too perfectly across his forehead and eyes. I find myself staring enviously at his full lips a lot, wishing to god I could just find a single imperfection to hold against him.

"Well? Will?" Mr Harris pushed, and I rolled my eyes. You won't get an answer from him, I thought pitifully at the middle aged teacher whose glasses always slipped down his nose and whose blond hair was thinning and receding past his temples.

_The answer is x-2__, you idiot._

Oh don't get me wrong, Will is much more than a pretty face... Apart from the fact he's not. He's rude, he's arrogant, the only thing quick about him is his wit, and even that sometimes just turns into hurtful comments. I've spent my whole life exposed to him, everywhere I turned, every time I spoke, he was literally right next to me, in the house next door. It didn't help that him and my sister Willow were practically inseparable. They'd been best friends since... God I can't even remember. Ever since he kicked that stupid football over the fence and she had answered the door. She'd simply picked up the ball and proceeded to kick it about with him, until our mother had instructed her inside. She was about 3, he was 4. Since then, Will, Willow and I had never been apart. Unfortunately.

_It's fucking x-2, you idiot._

"Sorry, no clue." Will finally admitted, lounging back against his chair, and mr Harris exhaled heavily, before looking up at the class, half of them talking amongst themselves, for someone to answer the question. My hand shot up without delay. He smiled sweetly at me, nodding at me to give the answer.

"X-2" I said, looking pointedly at the back of Wills head, and as of he could feel my gaze, he turned around in his chair, meeting my eyes. He gave me a lazy smirk and cocked a delicate eyebrow at me, before turning back around, kicking his bag out from under the table and flipping it open. There were no books, don't be daft, but his bike helmet, a few bottles of liquor and a bad of weed. He preceded to take out the weed none too discretely before rolling two joints. I watched him restlessly as Mr Harris wrote the answer. Any second now, he could turn and Will would be caught. Don't get me wrong, I would love nothing more than for Will to get what was coming his way, but that second joint was mine, and I couldn't risk being caught out too.

Okay, so here's the deal. I'm not a compulsive eater, alcoholic, bad ass, junkie or druggie, but I'm also not the nerd everyone thinks I am. Yes, I enjoy outsmarting the whole class about a dozen times, but I also like feeling like if I failed, it wouldn't matter. I shift a little in my seat, nails digging into my palm as I watch Will move painfully slow, and I saw him grinning from here. Damn him, he's doing it to spite me. I balls my fists tighter, focusing on his long, calloused fingers as they slowly started to roll the paper. My eyes narrow as he stops, unravelling it and placing it's content neatly inside again.

"Cassie?" The voice shocked me, and I jumped slightly, looking around in confusion, unclenching my hands. The voice had come from none other than the boy next to me. Dreamy Jem Carstairs. I had to stop myself drooling at the mere thought of him. I met his silvery eyes which curved slightly to reveal he used to live in china. His pale skin covers fine, delicate bones, and everything about him is slight, apart from his height. He's surprisingly tall. He gives me a kind smile, flipping a silver lock of hair out of his eyes cutely, and I can't help smiling back. He's so sweet. He is literally sweet enough to cause a cavity. Or three.

"Hey." My voice was a little squeaky, but he took no notice. He just continued to smile, nodding towards the welts rising on my palm, his eyebrows furrowing with concern.

"You okay there?" He asked, holding his hand out towards me. His fingers were thin, relatively long, and splattered with scars as if he worked with them frequently. He did, of course. He was a horse rider, and cleaning the tack or shoeing the horses had left his hands artfully scarred. I immediately shied back as if he was going to hurt me, and kicked myself. I'm such a dweeb. He seemed slightly taken aback, but showed nothing but kindness, his hand still outstretched, his eyes meeting mine softly.

"It's okay, I'm alright." I spluttered, shoving my hands deep inside my jean pockets. Jem withdrew his hands without so much of a bat of an eye, still smiling, but there was something behind those silvery eyes all of a sudden. I felt someone's eyes on me, and sneaked a look over at Will, just to see if he was done. He was already looking at us both, surveying us with amusement, the two blunts laying in his left palm.

"As long as you're sure." He whispered, before turning away from me and looking at the front again. I turned back too, frowning at myself, wishing I was more like Jessamine, the head cheerleader. She had the kind of blond hair that always seemed flawless in comparison to my untameable coppery brown mess, which had to be brushed a million times before the curls were presentable. She was beautiful, no question, the same height as me, but with double DDs instead of Cs, brown eyes instead of green, bigger hips, bigger bum... Well, she's just better than me. But I wasn't Jessamine, I was a total alien when it came to Jem. He was just so cute, and when he smiled, butterflies sprung inside my stomach. I stared forward again, to see Will still smirking, his leather jacket slightly rumpled, his tight black tee straining against the muscles of his chest.

He nodded once to the window, and I didn't need to look to know what he meant. Outside, there was a row of dumpsters under a low hanging roof. On top of the room, easily accessible to those who dared, was a flat expanse of concrete where people sit, playing music and sitting on makeshift seats made of crates. We met there regularity, when he was... Supplying me. We'd meet there again. After the bell.

_X-2, you stupid idiot_. I recited to distract myself from his dark smile and suggestive eyes.

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The bell went and I was up like a shot, collecting my bag and rushing towards the back of the playground, nearing the bins, the smell of rotting garbage making me want to hurl. I went to walk forward a step, but there was a hand on my arm, pulling me back. I rolled my eyes, yanking my arm from Wills teasing grip, turning to face him. He was still smirking, his eyes alight with amusement.

"Jelly legs, little C?" He teased, referring to the way I'd acted around Jem earlier. I scowled at him as he hopped easily on top of the bin, before holding out his hand to me. I took it, hating the fact I could never fully get up alone. He hauled me up, before grabbing onto the low drain, swinging himself onto the tiles. I followed easily, years of gymnastics finally laying off, and I joined Will atop the room. There were already people sitting on crates, the stereo pumping out a loud, heavy bass beat. Some I recognised, Thomas, Maia, Clary and Sophie, others were all unfamiliar. We walked over to the one remaining crate, forced to either share one or one of us sit on the floor, and I plonked down, taking up the seat before he could do so himself. He rolled his eyes, sinking down next to my leg, leaning back against the corner of the crate as he drew out the blunt. I snatched mine, lighting it with a spare match from chemistry, before taking a long drag, exhaling the smoke. The first drag was always bitter, and I cringed at the familiar taste.

"I wasn't that bad." The lie fell flat, and he snorted, smoke coming out of his nose in cool rings. Even I wouldn't have believed myself.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter, not like he gives a damn." I shrugged, kicking angrily at my bag. I took another draw, feeling the affects take hold. I started to relax, my muscles softening as Will looked up at me with a disbelieving expression.

"You kidding? Kid has a crush on you big time. Are you blind or just simply retarded?" He asked, and I kicked him in the ribs, not that he cared. He shoved on my knee, nearly causing me to topple backwards, before laughing to himself. I frowned, no one had ever called me that. No one had ever insinuated I was stupid. Yet when it comes to boys, I guess I am. This is where Will has the upper hand. He's dated so many girls, I've lost count. He knew everything there was to know about crushes, and he was saying Jem had one on me. I blushed at the thought of Jem feeling anything towards me, smiling a little as I I hailed another puff.

"Really? Jem?" I asked stupidly, and Will laughed, his head falling against my knee. I felt his chest vibrate against my thigh, and my stomach twisted like it always did. Ugh, he unsettled me, I thought as I tried to drown the feeling in weed. When Will recovered, he sat up, giving me a wide, goofy smile.

"Yeah, definitely. God, you know nothing!" He elongated the word nothing to emphasise the extent of my lack of knowledge, and I attempted to push him away, but it was halfhearted. I was way too high now to really care what he said.

"Not everyone can have your area of expertise." I wiggled my eyebrows at him, and Sophie chorused her agreement loudly before taking a swig from the vodka at her feet. He rolled his eyes, resting his chin on my knee and clicking his jaw. The movement made me feel sick, but I didn't move away, smoking my weed slowly as he blew rings at my face.

"Well, miss x-2, I'd give anything to be able to pass Maths, even my 'advanced sex knowledge'" he quoted the sex bit with his fingers, before giving me a smile. A thought entered my watered down brain, and maybe it was the weed, or how desperate I was, but I sat up a little straighter, putting out my blunt. He watched me in confusion as I moved up on the crate, patting the space beside me.

"I'll trade ya. Teach me how to do all that shit with boys, and I'll tutor you in math." I met his eyes evenly, and he cocked his head, raising an eyebrow, before putting out his blunt and sitting beside me, his legs pressed into my own. I turned so I could face him properly, and he smirked, almost laughing, but keeping his composer. Barely.

"Alrighty it's a deal." He stuck out his hand, and I shook it, giggling slightly. This was all so stupid, I couldn't help laughing as he placed his hands just above my knees, his fingers pressing into my flesh.

"What's first?" I asked, and he mused over it a second, tapping his fingers against my skin, and I tried not to take any notice of how his skin seemed to burn against my own, a strange, swelling feeling starting in the pit of my stomach. Maybe I was going to be sick. Why was I even doing this? I hated Will! He was annoying as hell, he always pissed me off, yet he was the one to go for for advice on this. Sure, I could have gone to Nate Gray, one of my other friends, or maybe even Magnus, both would have been willing to help, but Will was here, and he would do I suppose.

"Well I guess simple talking would be good." He teased, and I gave his shoulder a shove, already turning away from him. I knew how to talk to boys, I could talk to Nate as sexually as I wanted, wanna know why? Because I knew nothing would happen. I was comfortable with Nate. Jem... Not so much. Of course, now I knew he liked me, it would be easier. A lot easier.

"I can talk, you know I can. Think of Nate and I." I suggested, referring to the way Nate and I would act as if we were dating, whispering dirty words to each other, before exploding in a fit of giggles. Will nodded thoughtfully, his thumb swirling patters across my thigh, making me squirm. He noticed the gesture, light creeping into his eyes suddenly. He smiled slowly, the corner of his mouth turning up at the sides.

"Simple kiss, perhaps. Just a touch of the lips. Alright?" He asked, waiting for my permission. I hesitated slightly, not sure whether I wanted will kissing me out in the open like this. But what choice did I have? If I didn't let him, I would never know what to do with Jem, and my life would be over. I grit my teeth slightly, relaxed from the weed, before leaning forward a little, nodding at him.

"Alright." I agreed, and Will smiled before moving forward the rest of the way, his lips caressing mine. The touch of his lips against mine ignited an inferno inside my chest, colours exploding behind my eyelids as his lips brushed mine, soft and warm, all feathery and light. Something snapped within me, and I found myself leaning forward, turning my head slightly to gain more access, putting more pressure on our lips. Then, he was pulling away, and I opened my eyes, meeting his as my stomach twisted, a hunger settling in. Damn munchies. For some reason my lips seemed to follow his as he withdrew, searching for someway to quell what was building side me, and I gripped a handful of his hair, pulling him forward so his lips touched mine. He made a surprised noise, his lips a little uncertain as I pressed against him, before he leaned into me a little more, pressing his hand more firmly into my leg. I didn't seem to be able to think anymore as my fingers pulled at his hair, trying to get closer. He groaned, and I worried that pulling on his hair hurt him, but then he was kissing me a little harder, as if he felt my uncertainty, reassuring me that this was okay. His hands, which has been stationary on my knees, moved up, caressing my thighs, making my core tighten as his fingers drifted up my hips, avoiding my most sensitive part, before gliding up my waist and to my shoulders, brushing the skin at my throat. I gasped against his lips at the feeling of his delicate fingers, and he moved them into my hair, taking the opportunity of my open mouth to open his, his breath hot and hard mingling with mine. I made a strange noise, a sort of moan as his fingers pulled on a lock of hair, and I felt his muscles tense before he pulled back slightly, his chest rising and falling with hard breaths.

"Cass." He whispered, a sort of warning almost, his hands going back to my shoulder as if he was about to push me away as I leaned forward again, trying to find purchase with his lips against my own. He didn't try to stop me as I kissing him again, moving my lips across his with a hard pressure that made him tighten his fingers in the material around my shoulders as if restraining himself from doing something he shouldn't. He gave a shuddering breath as I hungrily pushed against him, but before I could let my body run away with itself, he was pulling back, his hands unyielding on my shoulders, not letting me follow.

"Cass." He said more firmly this time, and I listened. I dropped my hands from his hair, feeling incredibly stupid and juvenile. Why did I have to be such an impulsive person? I looked down at my lap, not wanting to meet his eyes. His hands fell from my shoulders and landed back where they started above my knees, but a little higher, further up my thighs. The buzz was starting to wear off, and I realised for the first time we had an audience, who were all now booing and shaking their heads. I blushed bright red, biting my lip, wishing I had been more controlling.

"Cassie?" Will said, bending down so his mouth was by my ear, making me wriggle and squirm. I didn't respond, so his hand squeezed my thigh, making my core pulse and me flush even worse.

"Cass." He whispered a little more kindly, and I looked up, meeting his wide eyes. I felt so naive, my bottom lip jutting out in a pout that made him smile. He lifted his hand up, his thumb dragging my bottom lip down slightly, and I narrowed my eyes at him, raising an eyebrow.

"I was really bad, wasn't I." It wasn't a question, it was a statement, one that was increasingly hard to say while his thumb was still on my bottom lip. He snorted a little at that, and my suspicions were confirmed. I'd been awful! Laughable! I felt humiliation and hurt rise in my chest, and I started to pull away, not wanting to humiliate myself further. His hand quickly knotted into my hair, forcing me to stay in place, and I shot him a half pathetic, half agitated look.

"No, no. It's not that. Just too fast, alright. We need to take this slowly so I can explain it all." He reassured, and I sighed in relief, relaxing a little, and when he was sure I wouldn't pull away, he let go of my hair, moving his hand back to my knees, putting some of his weight on them. The gesture sent shots of electricity up my legs, and I gasped a little at how the mere transfers of weight felt. I kept my eyes locked on his as I bit my lip, restraining myself. I'm such an adrenaline junkie, I swear. Anything that give me a thrill, with a slight danger/fear factor just drives me nuts. His eyes darken slightly, and I can see his shoulders tensing.

"Does it hurt? You sounded hurt when I pulled your hair." I asked innocently, watching his eyes swim with something I didn't recognise. At the mention of the incident, his eyes somehow grew a little darker, his hands moving up an inch on my thighs, gripping tighter, making me yelp. Something was there again, the munchies, that made me want to feel it more. More pain, more thrill. I knew it was the weed, I knew it was the drug making me crave it, but that didn't make it easier to stop.

"Hurt? No. Not hurt. I made that noise because I liked it." His voice was lower, had a tint to it I didn't know, yet I found it made me want to feel things more. My mind was screaming, my heart was pounding, and my hands moved from where they sat in my lap to cover his fingers.

"You really don't know anything, do you?" He asked, looking down at where my hands covered his. I frowned slightly at his statement, but non the less I lifted his hands off of my legs, only letting his fingertips trail across my skin, making me feel like an electric charge was being run over small areas as I moved his hands, his finger nails raking against my skin. I moved forward in my seat, wanting his nails further up my thighs, and I heard his breathing hitch as his nails scratched the bottom of one of my pockets. Chills ran down my spine as I let his hands drop there, wanting him to do it, and as if he could read my mind, he spread his fingers wide across the top of my thigh.

"Too fast?" I breathed as I looked into his eyes, but he wasn't looking at my face anymore. His eyes were consumed by the sight of my top riding up my waist from when I had moved forward, exposing the flat expanse of my stomach, only showing half of my navel. He didn't move, didn't even seem to breath, but his hands were tightening around my thighs, making me whimper and mewl at him. Finally, he blinked, swallowing hard.

"Too fast indeed, little C." He let me drop instantly, moving away from me to pick up his bag. I felt rejected and un satisfied as I watched him get ready to go, turning back to me and grinning, like nothing had happened.

"Don't wanna be late now, do we keen bean?" He smirked, and I rolled my eyes, picking up my bag and shoving my way past him. I jumped down off of the room, landing solidly on the bins, before leaping to the floor and waiting for Will. When he joined me, instead of passing me the two fifty for the bus ride home, he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me towards him. I prepared myself for another slow, torturous kiss, one that left me more wanting that I already was now, but instead, his lips landed hotly on my neck, just below my jaw. I tilted my head back, allowing him to suck gently on the skin, because damn did it feel good. His breath was hot as he opened his mouth, and I melted as his tongue brushed the skin artistically, before he bit me. That did it.

"Oh." I gasped, hands moving to his hair, pushing him against me, but it was too late, he was done. He pulled back with a smirk, making anger and want simmer dangerously in the pit of my stomach. He gave me a wink before pulling on his biker helmet, leaving the face guard up so I could see him.

"See ya later teach, round bout 7 for maths?" But he didn't wait for my reply, instead he just walked off, leaving me desperately hungry and without money for the bus.

_Damn x-2 for getting me into this._

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_**so what do you think guys? Will be introducing Mortal instruments characters later on like Simon and Jace just not yet. So anyone looking for the crossover part it's next chapter in more depth. Please review xx**  
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	2. My dear

**hey guys so I had a question about whether will and Jem are still friends, the answer is...sort of... You'll understand when you see it. Enjoy :)**

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I walked down the road with my head phones on, music blasting loud out of the buds, angry and flustered. Every few seconds I'd reach up to touch the place Wills lips had assaulted, then I'd curse myself for doing so. Why did he do that to me? Why did I do this to myself? Was it even worth it? Okay, so if I carried on with this stupid exercise, Will would only become more cocky than he already was, and he'd hold it over me forever. But if I quit, I could be really bad for Jem, and I really didn't want to mess things up with him. At the thought of Jem I smiled softly, forgetting Will and the fact I was going to have to walk miles home. His silvery eyes, his kind smile, he's just too cute!

I was absorbed in my mini fangirling session inside my head that I didn't realise someone had pulled up next to me on the road, and it was only when they honked their horn that I jumped, yanking my headphones out in frustration. Alec lightwood was grinning at me through the rolled down window of his ford fiesta, going at a snails pace. I rolled my eyes, suppressing a smile.

"Sup Cassie my dear?" He coed, and I stuck my tongue out rather childishly at him. He grinned, looking me up and down as if making an observation, when he met my eyes again, he was frowning.

"You got high again, didn't you." It wasn't a question, he already knew the answer, but I still nodded my head, as if it was no big deal. Alec hated smoking, he thought I was throwing my life away. Okay so here's the deal with Alec. He's a year older than me, he used to baby sit me, and we've been good friends since forever. Once upon a time I had tried to go for him, enticed by his black locks and blue eyes, but he had been oblivious to my advances, and I gave up. Now he tried to keep a watchful eye over me, and he always complained about my smoking.

"Cassandra, I swear to god, even the angels themselves, that I will beat up whoever is supplying you." He informed in a matter of face tone, causing an unwanted image of Will to surface in my mind. Alec and Will looked so similar, yet Wills hair curled and Alec's didn't, but they couldn't have been more different. Alec was studious, smart, kind, placid, where as Will was a rebel, someone who never studied and couldn't care less if what he did got him into trouble.

"Alec-" I started to whine but he shot me a look that told me to keep my mouth shut, his eyes angry as well as disappointed.

"That Will Herondale is such a dick. When I see him, I swear-" but I cut him off by stopping abruptly in my tracks, staring at him pleadingly. I did not need him drawing attention to me, not this year. Despite the fact I occasionally smoked weed, I was getting the best grades in school, and I'd already been approached to join Harvard after I passed exams. So I definitely did not need anything jeopardising it.

"You say that every time, and you never do anything about it." I shoot back, and he parks at the edge of the road, leaning out of the window.

"That's because he gives you bus money." He points out, then he frowns slightly, as if only just realising we'd passed the bus stop ages ago and I was still walking.

"Actually, why aren't you at the bus stop?" He enquired, and I blushed at the thought of what happened between will and I. How was I suppose to explain that to Alec? Oh, we were just a little too preoccupied with kissing to get to that part, it won't happen again. Probably.

"He, ugh, didn't give me any." I shrugged as if it was no big deal, but in honestly, my feet were already aching, and I was no where near home. Alec clenched his jaw, before gesturing for me to put my bag in the boot and hop in. I did just that, sliding into the worn, mismatching seats, relaxing into the familiar smell of his car. McDonald's cartons and empty cans of beer or coke littered the floor, and in the cup holder was a half empty fanta, and I took a swig without asking him. He shifted into gear with a splutter of the engine, and then we were cruising down the road slowly, his car too beat up to go any faster.

"And why is that?" He asked drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. A cd was in the radio, and the sound of Fall out boy hummed through the car faintly. I turned it up, wanting to avoid the conversation, but I knew Alec would not relent.

"Dunno." I shrugged, turning up the music louder, hoping he would drop it. Instead of him just rolling his eyes and humming along to the song, he turned it off all together, giving me a very annoyed look. He was not happy today, I could tell.

"Cassie. Tell me right now." He ordered, and there was no lying to that tone.

"Him and I, we..." I stopped, eyeing Alec slightly. He was patiently waiting, focusing half on me and half on the road, and I wondered what he would say. He would inevitably be angry, and probably shun me, but that's the worst right? He was my best friend...

"We kissed, alright? So excuse me for no focusing on the fact I needed to catch the bus when his lips were on my neck." I said it fast, hoping he wouldn't catch it, but as soon as he slammed on the breaks, I knew he had. He turned to me, utterly shocked, his eyes wide, and just stared. I met his eyes, feeling very guilty and stupid. Jesus he's looking at me like I just admitted I robbed a bank.

"You what?" He managed to splutter when worlds finally came back to him, and I felt my cheeks turn the brightest of reds.

"Will kissed me, I kissed him. It's all the same." I repeated, making it as simple as possible, and Alec's eyes went wide. He stared at me with so much shock, disappointment and anger I worried he was about to have an emotional overload.

"Why?!" He asked incredulously, and I threw up my hands, really not wanting to explain my predicament. What was I eve suppose to call mine and wills... Situation? I looked at Alec, cheeks burning, begging him with my eyes to just shut up, but he was no relenting.

"Because I don't know what I'm doing. He's... Teaching me in return for math tuition." I told him, and Alec laughed humourlessly, continuing to drive down the road, shaking his head at the road. I twisted my hands around each other, worried about what he was thinking, wondering if he was thinking horribly of me. We'd been best friends for so long, I didn't usually have problems figuring him out. Now I didn't know if he thought it was funny or if he was angry.

"So you're teaching him math, and he's teaching you... To kiss." He repeated, as if he couldn't believe what I was saying, and was trying to make sense of it all. I nodded, and he rolled his eyes, his jaw clenching and unclenching, before he looked at me, not even focusing on the road anymore as we neared my house.

"Why didn't you come to me, Cassie?" He asked, and I was slightly taken aback. He would want me to come to him? With something as awkward as this? I fidgeted nervously, only just realising we had stopped outside my house, but neither of my parents were home. I lived in a small village, in a street of white picket fences and over flowing lush gardens, but never before had I felt so out of place.

"Umm... I... Alec I... It would have been so..." But I couldn't finish the sentence. Alec was staring at me, raising his eyebrows, and I found this conversation so very stupid. Alec was my oldest, coolest, and most understanding friend, why did I think I couldn't trust him, or go to him?

"It would have been fine, you know that. Now come on, let's go inside and raid the cupboards before your sister gets home." He smirked, opening his door and hopping out.

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**wooo Alec baby! Told you I'd introduce more tmi characters! what do you think? Next chapter could get a little steamy, with a chance of naughty card game ;) please review xx**


	3. Games

**sorry I took so long, hopefully you'll forgive me. Will be updating a bit quicker as I'm on holiday! Wooo!**

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Three hours and a few bowls of popcorn later and we'd watched several films, played FIFA (which I lost at) and he'd helped me with my English presentation on the works of Shakespeare. Now we sat in the middle of the living room, music blaring from the speakers, playing poker. Strip poker. I'd already lost both my socks, but he had lost his socks, his jacket and his shirt. He was a sucky player, and I already had a flush, so I knew he was going to lose... Again.

"Ready to lose your trousers, Alec?" I enquired smoothly, laying down my cards and smiling. He looked at them then grinned, laying down his cards for inspection.

"Take it off, Cassie my dear." He said pointing to my top. He had a full house. Damn. I rolled my eyes before I grabbed the hem of my shirt, yanking it off, left in just my pink bra. He mocked a jeer as I let the fabric drop, and I gave his shoulder a playful shove, laughing uncontrollably. Neither of us heard the front door swing open, or even heard it bang shut. It was only when Will stormed through the living room door that I realised me and Alec were not alone. I yelped in surprise, scrambling to grab my top, but by the time I'd pulled it back on, he'd gotten a full view of my C breasts, and I was turning brighter than the colour of my bra.

"Will! What are you doing here?" I spluttered, but Will didn't seem to be focusing on me. He was smiling snidely at Alec, who remained shamelessly topless. Alec's jaw clenched, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the deck of card, shuffling them expertly.

"Having fun are we little C?" He asked snidely, and I sighed inwardly. I hated that stupid nickname. It made me feel like a child. Alec took no notice, dealing the cards for us both, not including will, who was still standing by the door.

"What are you doing here, William?" Alec requested, though I'm pretty sure he knew precisely why Will was standing there. Alec's voice was cold, demanding, but Will didn't flinch, didn't even seem to react, instead he just flopped down on the sofa, observing us with a small smile, the corner of his mouth turned up smugly.

"Nice card game your playing, I remember playing this with Isabelle once. Stripped right down to her sock, and boy that girl has a great pair of ti-" Alec cut him off with a warning glance, his posture suddenly tense. Isabelle and Alec had dated once, they'd been serious, until something happened, a few months ago. He never liked talking about it, but I'd guessed it was something to do with Will. It was the way Alec always stiffened around him, like he was trying to conceal his rage. I stood in between the two hands on my hips, looking at Will in exasperation.

"Give me a minute, can you?" I asked between gritted teeth, looking pointedly at the door. Will sat still for a second, his eyes flicking in amusement between the two of us, lighting up like he knew something we didn't, before he got to his feet, coming dangerously close to me. His fingers clasped my chin, and I met his eyes levelly even though my heart was pounding, and I knew Alec was watching with seething eyes. Will smiled, his lips curling slowly as he looked into my eyes, coming closer, teasing me.

"Don't be too long, little c. I'm not a patient man." He whispered huskily, and as if to prove this, his hand slipped quickly from my chin and down onto the small of my back, his other hand slipping quickly under the hem of my top, pressing against my bare skin, brushing the plane just above my waist band. I fought the gasp that tried to escape me lips, trying to pull back, but the hand on my back held me steady as his fingers traced a small pattern across my stomach, making me quiver and squirm. Once his hands were off of my skin, I felt like my knees were jelly, and he was grinning like the cat shoe got the cream. He winked before he sauntered out of the room, going into the kitchen. In a matter of seconds I could hear the clatter of cups and the boiling of the kettle as he helped himself to coffee.

"What the fuck." Alec hissed, grabbing onto my wrist, now on his feet, and turning me around. I must have looked dazed because he shook me, his eyes filled with anger. I focused long enough to realise he'd put on his clothes again, and when I looked up at his face, I saw something there I couldn't put my finger on. A mix of anger and something else that I couldn't pinpoint.

"Alec I think you should go." I said, worried about what he would do if he stayed much longer. Alec's jaw tightened, his fists clenched, and my worries were reinforced. He was going to explode any second, and I'd like to save my living room from the damage. He looked at the floor, his chest taut, and I knew how things went when this happened. It had happened before, and the memories made my heart clench in fear. Alec had been drunk, it was after his and Isabelle's break up, and I'd been walking him home, a little drunk too, when a guy from school took the opportunity to lash out. Jonathan Morgenstern was not a nice guy. He'd always had beef with Alec, from a young age, and he took advantage of Alec's drunkenness.

I can see it now, the darkness, the blood as Jonathan swung at Alec, catching him on the nose. Alec barely flinched, and suddenly this look had come over him, the one he wears now. He beat Jonathan to a bloody pulp. I remember screaming, begging him to stop, and it was only when Jonathan was barely alive that Alec stopped, pulling away, his face splattered with blood. Alec was not a violent person, but sometimes, and I mean on very rare occasions, he just... Exploded.

"Alec. Alec look at me." I whispered, tilting his face up to look at me, winding my hand into his hair comfortingly, giving him a reassuring look.

"I'm going to be fine. He won't try anything funny, I promise." I reassured him, letting the hand that still clasped his chin caress his cheek softly, brushing my thumb over his cheek bone. I knew how to calm him, and I could slowly see him relaxing, the tension leaving his body as I looked into his eyes, my hands gentle and soft as they brushed against his skin, through his hair, and when his hand came to rest on my cheek, I didn't flinch away, I let him.

"I just get worried about you." He whispered, his cheeks a little red, and I smiled, flattered by this. People didn't really worry about me a lot, not even my own parents. I was independant, so no one bothered to care. Alec however saw me as this little fragile thing that needed to be protected from the big bad world at all costs.

"I know." It was all I needed to say, I didn't need to reassure him. He sighed slightly before pulling back, making me realise how close we had been standing only seconds before. He pulled on his jacket and started to walk down the corridor towards the front door, quickly slipping on his shoes. He opened the door a fraction, and I leant against the banister, watching him stop in the door way, tilting my head to the side curiously. He turned to look at me, his expression unreadable as he quickly brushed his thumb across my cheek, a sweet goodbye.

"Be careful." He warned before he took off, sliding into his car and driving away. I stood and watched as his car disappeared down the street, I didn't even hear Will approach.

"Ready to do some maths?" He asked, and I rolled my eyes before peeling myself away from the banister and turning to face him. He was looking at me, trying to seem innocent, but I could see the smile he was fighting.

"Let's do this." I hissed before I walked upstairs to my room, gesturing for him to follow.

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**I had so much fun writing this chapter, I forgot how fun it is to write. So Alec and Isabelle aren't related if you hadn't figured it out. Lol no incest for you guys. Tell me what you think :) xx**


	4. Lesson 1 & 2: confidence is key

**warning heavy Cassie will action here! Enjoy sweeties!**

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"You know, I really hate you sometimes." Will said from where he laid on the floor, his head immersed in a maths book. I rolled my eyes for the millionth time from where I perched on the corner of the bed, holding the same book, apart from all the questions in mine had been answered in purple gel pen, where as his laid half empty. We'd been studying for three hours now, it was 10:23 and empty cartoons of Chinese laid strew across the floor. I'd ordered food once it was clear Wills patience was being severely tested, and to distract him I'd gotten a bottle of beer from the fridge and promised he could have it if he answered the question. He did.

"I'm glad we share the same feelings, Herondale." I muttered, swinging my legs back and forth as I tapped my pencil against the side of my note book. Both my parents were at work, and Willow was at a friends, but I couldn't help feeling like at any moment someone was going to come up here and see the empty beer bottles and us and assume the worst. The tapping of my pencil became more rapid as I chewed on my bottom lip, and Will threw his book aside in frustration, looking up at me with blazing eyes.

"Stop tapping! It's frustrating." He ordered, his voice cold, and I narrowed my eyes, wondering what he would do if I didn't do as he told me to. I continued to tap my pencil, raising my eyebrows, daring him to act. His eyes were cold, but suddenly, he was smiling deviously and standing from his position, towering over me, and suddenly I felt very nervous.

"Let's have some fun shall we?" He grinned, and I found myself crawling back on my bed, trying to get away from his seeking eyes. Instead of getting the message that I didn't want to be near him, he followed me, kneeling on the edge of my bed, leaning forward until my back was against the wall and I had no where to go. His smirk was lopsided as he looked my body over, making my stomach tighten and my heart beat skip.

"First lesson, confidence is sexy. And you have none of it." He whispered, his fingers trailing across my jaw, down my neck, and I shied away from his hands as they approached the neckline of my top. He smiled again, raising his eyebrows as if to say I told you so, and I crossed my arms across my chest, trying to look like I was doing it because I was angry and not because I really didn't have any self confidence. He withdrew himself from my personal space, and I exhaled, glad he was gone.

"Stand up." He ordered, but I didn't move. I sat staring up at him defiantly, worried about what he was going to make me do. He huffed in exasperation, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at me.

"Why?" I asked, but he just stood tall and intimidating in front of me, clearly not impressed.

"Do you want to do this or not?" He asked, clearly annoyed, and I hesitated before I nodded, uncrossing my arms.

"Yes." I replied, and he nodded, unfolding his arms and holding his hands out to me.

"Then do as I say and come here." He repeated, his voice hard like a real teachers, and I didn't question him anymore as I took his hands and he hauled me to my feet. I stood perfectly still in front of him, trying not to shy away from his prying eyes. He inspected me for a while, lifting my arms and making me turn, before he sat down on my bed, lounging back against my pillows.

"Undress. Now." He ordered, and instantly I wanted to argue. What a creep! Who did he think I was, some cheap hooker?

"What?" I asked plainly, not trusting myself to elaborate incase I spiralled into a tirade and made him pissed off. He smiled knowingly, gesturing to my clothes.

"You heard. Undress. I'm going to build your confidence." He told me, and before I could object, he was sitting up and grabbing the hem of my shirt, yanking it off in one clean sweep. I gasped as the cold air hit my body, and my arms flew to cover my exposed chest, crossing over onto the opposite shoulders, too shocked to realise this only pushed my boobs together and made them look bigger. I expected him to smile, I expected him to laugh, but he did neither. Instead he just leaned back against the pillows again and looked at me, his expression unreadable.

"Uncross your arms, take off your trousers, and stand as tall and straight as you can." He gave the next orders, but his voice was lower now, his eyes darker, and I recognised this expression from earlier when we kissed. Want. Lust. Desire. I felt a sudden rush as I realised I made him feel that way, and I dropped my arms, feeling invigorated. He must have sensed the shift, but he said nothing as I went to unbutton my trousers slowly, teasing him. His eyes devoured me as I slowly unzipped my trousers, before pushing them down my legs, one at a time. When I was only in my underwear, I stood still, watching him watch me, feeling uncomfortable and wanted all at the same time. I wanted to shy away, but I wanted him to look. My muscles were tense, but I wasn't trying to hide.

He sat up, taking me in, looking at the matching pink lace panties, before he reached for me. I tensed further, not wanting his hands on me, but even while I was scared, there was a part of me that craved it. His fingertips were only millimetres away from my skin, and I could feel the heat from his body zapping through mine, his eyes fixed on mine as he paused, sensing I wasn't entirely comfortable.

"Relax." He whispered, and I tried, I really did. I willed my muscles to unclench, but it was like they had a mind of their own. He reached down and took my clothes, confiscating them, and I felt something rise inside me, a sort of sadness that made me feel like an exhausted child.

"Will I want to get dressed." My voice sounded broken to my own ears, like a child's, and I kicked myself for sounding so childish. His fingers still lingered near my skin, and I felt my eyes start to burn, even though I didn't know why. I wanted to get dressed, I didn't like this, but I couldn't. I had to try, and the thought of not being able to relax, not being able to be confident frustrated me, made me want to break down. Will met my eyes, no longer consumed by my body, but by my expression. I probably looked hopeless and desperate, and I could see in his eyes he felt kind of sorry for me.

"I know baby, just a minute more." His voice was soft, and it took me off guard, but not enough to distract me. He dropped his hand, moving back a bit on the bed to give me some space, but I still squirmed, not enjoying this exercise. I wasn't comfortable with my looks, I never had been, but this pushed me to the edge. I wanted to be confident, and the fact that I couldn't strained me so far beyond my breaking point I felt myself caving. My eyes felt heavy, my sight blurring, but I bit my lip, trying to force the tears down. Will Herondale was not about to see me cry.

"Will please." I begged, wanting him to give in. If he gave in, I wouldn't be the one failing, I wouldn't be the one giving up. My competitive nature made it impossible to back down, and that just contributed to my hell. He looked torn, his eyes looked almost pained as he watched me squirm. Don't back down Cassie, I thought to myself, but my body wouldn't listen. It continued to tense and squirm and my eyes continued to grow wet and heavy.

"You have to do this Cassie or we'll never get through what we need to." He tried to reason, but my body was going into lock down. This had happened before, I'd been taken to the doctors for it. Swimming class, about 2 years ago. Willow and Will had dragged me to the pool, and I'd gotten dressed, feeling fine. As soon as I walked out into the open, I froze. I remember Will looking at me and smiling, but I'd not moved. My brain warred with itself. Part of me didn't want to run away and give in, the other part was screaming to cover myself. The internal fight made me burn myself out, and I remember crying and wanting to go home. Doctors called it paranoia, but it was more than that. They said that the two halves of me were competing and that neither is willing to give in, so they war and use my energy source until I collapse. Will knows this. Will knows this. Will knows!

"Will." Its a sob, and for the first time I realise my cheeks are wet. He doesn't move, he stays perfectly still, but I can see it in his eyes, the guilt, the pain. He's trying to help me, I reassure myself, but there's no room for reason anymore. There's a pain in my chest that expands into my stomach and clenches them both in a vice like grip.

"Please, it hurts." I chocked on the words, trying to ignore the multiple voices screaming at me in my head. Stay strong. Back down. Hide. Run. Fight. Remain still. Show him what your made of. Beat him. Let him do what he wants. Give in. My head ached from all the words, and I tried to keep a lid on my emotions, but once it was open, there was no stopping.

"Cass." He said my name like it hurt him, and I met his eyes, snivelling and sobbing. His hands were knotted in the bed sheets, and with a start I realised this hurt him as much as it hurt me. He was trying to stop himself giving in, but he was just like me. He wasn't one to just give up, and he was trying so hard now that the effort was draining him. The tears stopped, the tightness in my chest stopped, everything stopped. I unclenched, I relaxed as I watched him, his eyes so pained that I wanted to comfort him.

"It's gone. The pain." I whispered, and he looked at me in confusion, sitting up, untangling his fists from my sheets. He looked at me slowly, examining my position. What the hell just happened? One second I was deep into a panic attack, now I'm standing perfectly fine? This doesn't happen.

"You're okay?" He asked, and I nodded, very aware of the fact he was starting to notice my body again, and I felt the initial rush I had felt before the panic. He held my clothes out to me, and I quickly pulled on my jeans, but left my top half bear, chucking my top across the room. He looked confused as he watched me take a step forward, but he didn't try to stop me.

"What are yo-" but he didn't finish his sentence, because I moved forward, taking his hand and putting it where he was going to earlier, spreading his fingers across my stomach. He didn't object, but he didn't pursue the action either.

"Am I confident enough now?" It wasn't a question aimed to bait him or encourage him, it was a genuine question. I didn't know what was considered confident by boys. He looked at where his fingers were splayed across my stomach, his eyes dark, and I felt my heart jump as I recognised the want again.

"Yes, we'll have to work on that though. Can't have you crying to Jem, I doubt he'll be as... Understanding." Will raised an eyebrow again, back to his old self, but there was still a twinge of guilt behind his words. I sighed in relief, pushing my hair off of my face, looking down at him. He looked thoughtful as he watched my chest rise and fall, as if documenting every breath, every heart beat.

"You ready for the next step?" He asked tentatively, and I sighed, feeling exhausted but not knowing when we would next be alone together. I nodded, and he must have seen the exhaustion in my expression, because he moved his hands to my waist and pulled me forward to straddle his lap. Once I was sitting down he moved his hands onto the small of my back and pulled my head down onto his shoulder. I didn't even care that I was half naked, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders regardless. I relaxed, my body turning into rubber, and I inhaled the scent of his cologne, strong and masculine, with a hint of apples.

"I want you to let me touch you. I promise I won't go too far, but you have to trust me." He whispered into my hair, and I nodded, closing my eyes and bracing myself for his touch. His fingers slowly rubbed my waist, tracing delicate patterns across it, before moving behind me, running up my spine, making me shiver. I leaned further forward, hair falling over my shoulders, and he took the opportunity to run his nails over my shoulder blades. My breath hitched as his fingers brushed the nape of my neck, and I tightened my hands in his shirt. I felt him take a sharp intake of breath, but he didn't stop. He pushed me back so he could look into my eyes before his fingers traced the lines of my collarbones, down my sternum, in between my breasts, playing my ribs like wind chimes. All the while his eyes were fixated on mine, a look that intensified everything as his index finger dipped into my naval. I bit my lip, restraining the moan that wanted to escape, and suddenly his hands were gripping my hips pulling me forward again.

"Don't bite your lip." He growled, obviously finished with being gentle.

"Why?" I asked breathlessly, and his figures dug deep into my skin as I stared at him, my chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Because I want to do that." He whispered, and before I could even process that answer, his lips were on mine, and he was kissing me. I didn't push him away, instead I knotted my fingers into his hair and pulled him forward, crushing his lips to mine. He groaned against my lips, his nails deep in my skin as he pushed our bodies together. My lips seemed to move all on their own, sliding against his with an urgency I'd never felt before. I didn't feel shy or awkward as my thighs tightened over his lap and he moaned, low and loud against my mouth, and I took the opportunity to open my mouth, sharing his breath. His lips moved against mine, and suddenly I felt his teeth graze my bottom lip softly, pulling at it seductively, and something took over me. I pushed against his shoulders, making him fall back against the pillows, continuing to kiss him as my hands moved to the hem of his shirt. My mind was screaming at me to keep going, to keep kissing him and to just have more. More. More. More. More. More. More!

"Cass. Cass stop." Wills hands were on my shoulders, trying to push me off of him as I tried to yank the hem of his shirt up. I shook my head, breathing hard, not understand why he wanted me to stop. I rolled my hips, his most sensitive part rubbing against mine, and his eyes went wide.

"I thought confident was sexy?" I breathed, rolling my hips again, and his hands flew to my ass, guiding me as I rolled my hips again. He looked up at me in pure pleasure, his lips parted as he moved my hips against his again, fighting the moans he was trying to control.

"Aren't I sexy?" I growled next to his ear, before I bit his earlobe, and then I was dragging him into the inferno, plunging deep into a place of no return. He flipped me so I was looking up at the ceiling, my back against the sheets, and I barely had a second to breath before his lips crashed into mine. His mouth opened, forcing mine to open, and I gasped against his lips as his hands pressed into my hips, lifting them up to meet his. He gave a shuddering breath as we brushed together, and all I could think about were his lips, so hot and hungry on mine I felt numb. I kept waiting to feel his tongue against mine, but it wasn't there, and I started to worry that I wasn't good enough. I ignored that part of me and reached for his top again, but this time he didn't stop me. Instead of shucking it off, I let my hands slip under his shirt, and as soon as my fingers brushed his stomach, something seemed to click in his mind. He opened his eyes instantly, jumping away from me abruptly, like it hurt to have me near him. I sat up, watching him as he stared at me, his lips swollen and his eyes wide.

"Will what did I do?" I asked, worried and scared. He spoke his head, running a hand through his hair as he laughed quietly.

"Too fast. Too fast." He whispered, looking at me intently, before moving forward again, standing just in front of me.

"I told you. I need to explain." He said softly, clearly sensing my disappointment. Wait... Disappointment? I'm not disappointed, I told myself, shaking my head. I just wanted to learn, to figure out how to turn a guy on so Jem would like me. Wills hand found my chin, tilting my face up to his.

"I need to stay in focus, Cassie. I don't know how you do it but you make me... Forget. We need to be careful." He said sternly, and I nodded in agreement, staring up at him. He looked so different, not like normal Will at all. There was no trace of arrogance or tease, he looked... Young in a way. His eyes were bright, his face flushed, and I decided I liked his side of him.

"Okay." I replied simply, and he smiled, bending down and picking up my shirt, pulling it over my head softly. I pushed my arms through the sleeves, my hair turning slightly static, before looking back up at him curiously.

"What was the second part? Did I pass?" I asked, and he chuckled, smoothing down my hair.

"Second part was letting me touch you, and yes, you definitely passed little C." He was grinning again, but it was short lived. His phone started to buzz, and he fished it out of his pocket, pressing it to his ear.

"Isabelle, hey." He said, his voice low, and I felt a tiny pang in my chest. I put it down to the fact me and Isabelle were the worst of enemy's, and though I knew Will wasn't picky with his girls, I had sort of expected better of him.

"Now? I can't really come round now." He replied to whatever she had said, keeping his eyes on mine, as if trying to gauge my reaction. I just stared straight back, my eyes hard, watching him and listening to the slight hum of Isabelle's voice.

"Okay, I'll be round in a few." He said, before he hung up, slipping his phone back into his pocket. He stared at me in silence, his eyes unreadable, but I said nothing.

"I'm going to see Isabelle." He said finally, and I nodded.

"I heard." Was my reply, and my voice sounded odd to my ears. Hollow, cold, almost edgy. Will seemed to pick up on it too.

"So I'll see you another time. Maths tomorrow maybe?" He asked, unlike earlier he didn't demand, he asked, and I felt weird. Our dynamic had suddenly been knocked out of balance with one phone call, and suddenly I was in control.

"Yeah, sure." I tried to make my voice perky, smiling at him, and he nodded, clearly chewing something over. He seemed to abandon the thought as he leans forward, invading my personal space.

"Bye little C." He whispers, his lips so close to mine I feel restless, and when he moves forward to close the final inch between us, I turn my head to the side, his lips catching my cheek instead of my lips. When he pulls away I catch a glimpse of his face before he leaves, and I saw amounts of annoyance and rage that Alec had never shown. Good luck Isabelle, I thought venomously as I hear my front door slam shut.

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**ohhh Isabelle and Will! Poor cassie being left on her own. What did you think? Imma introduce Tessa next chapter so look forward to it! Please review xx**


	5. Frustrations

**updated as soon as I could guys, hope you like.**

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I'd woken up feeling like shit. Half the drive in Alec car had been awkward and silent and he'd tried to make conversation bless him but I wasn't listening. My head hurt, my body felt hyped up and jumpy, and I was so frustrated that everything made me grouchy. Another thing, any contact with someone else's skin made me spiral into oblivion, like all my nerve endings were exposed. There was a fiery pit of want that kept churning and bubbling in my stomach, and when Alec had touched my hand I'd had to stop myself from mounting him right there in the middle of the street.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his hand still on mine, and I'd looked at him longingly, wanting to feel his hands on my ass and his lips on my neck. Jesus Christ what was I thinking? Alec and I had been friends for years! This is all Wills fault, he's corrupting me, turning me into a female version of him.

"I'm okay." My voice was husky, and I swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat. Alec cocked his head to the side before shrugging and clambering into the car. I tried to ignore the fact that today was the day he'd chosen to wear a tight shirt, I tried to ignore the fact his hand was so close to mine. I curled up in the seat, looking out of the window, pressing my burning forehead against the cool glass. Today was not going to be fun, I thought as I closed my eyes, feeling drowsy.

"What's the matter Cassie? You seem off." Alec asked, barely looking at the road anymore. I sat up, opening my eyes, looking at his worried blue eyes, wondering what he would do if I just climbed onto his lap and started to kiss him.

"I'm just tired." The lie was smooth, but Alec knew me too well to know when I was lying or not.

"Liar." He shot, and I rolled my eyes, feeling a little uncomfortable and strange in such a confined space. What was I suppose to tell him? Sorry I'm just deliberating whether or not I should try to fuck you? Yeah I'm sure that would go down well.

"I'm frustrated that's all." It was as close to the truth as I was going to tell him, but he didn't seem to catch on. He reached forward, brushing my hair out of my eyes, and I bit my lip trying to restrain myself.

"Did Will hurt you?" He asked, his fingers soft and warm on my face. My nails dug into my palms as I tried to stop myself from grabbing his hand, skirting his eyes when he tried to look at me.

"No." I squeaked, clenching my muscles, trying to resist his hands, which were now cupping my cheek, brushing my cheek bone.

"Cass baby, what's the matter?" The use of baby sent me spiralling over the edge. I fumbled for my seat belt, popping it open before I crawled forward, swinging myself into his lap, grabbing onto his face and kissing him. He gasped, his hands spasming on the wheel as we swerved onto the side of the road, but I didn't care. I didn't care when the engine cut out, I didn't care when he slammed on the breaks, I only cared when his hands were on my back and his lips were moving against mine and he was kissing me. I was only satisfied when his shoulders were under my hands and his bottom lip was between my teeth. The kiss was furious, hot, aggressive, something to quench the fire in my stomach. It was rapid and smouldering and as I rubbed my body against his I felt him stiffen, felt the hardness in his jeans and his breath hot in my mouth and all I could think about was how good this felt. How fucking amazing his skin beneath my hands and his tongue sneaking past my lips felt. I shuddered, biting his lip again, pulling on it like I was an animal. He growled, his nails digging into my back, pulling me and yanking me against him, almost like he'd waiting for ages to do this.

"Cass." He breathed, his hands moving to my waist, his thumbs caressing circles over my hips. I remembered yesterday, Will grinding against me, the way his mouth had opened, his eyes filled with lust, and I rolled my hips against Alec, kissing him so hard I felt like my lips were bruising. Alec broke the kiss, throwing his head back with a moan, his eyes squeezed shut. Something was building inside me, something that made me more frustrated, and I jerked against him again, revelling in his groans and heavy breathing, throwing my head back as my core pulsed. I bent down to kiss him again, lips hungry, and that's when I realised I knew nothing else but this. This was as far as Will had taught me. He hadn't taught me how to tongue people, how to go any further than simple open mouthed kissing and a little dry humping. Even then he hadn't taught me how to dry hump properly. I felt suddenly self-conscious despite the fact his hands were all over my ass, moving up my top towards my boobs, groping for the clasp of my bra.

"Alec, Alec stop." I breathed, pushing my hands against his shoulders, pulling back. He moved his hands back to my waist, looking into my eyes intently. He moved one of his hands up to my face, brushing my cheek softly, tentatively, his eyes glowing with warmth.

"Sorry." He whispered, and I couldn't help but let the small smile creep across my face. He was so sweet, and he let me take out my frustrations on him. I looked out the window to see we were parked haphazardly on the side of the road about 5 minutes away from school, and the windows were steaming with every passing second. The skirt I had chosen to wear today was hiked high up my thighs, my vest top crumpled and still balled in one of Alec's hands. I looked down at him, feeling weightless, my left cheek feeling oddly cold, my hair feeling damp, and bent down again, kissing him hard, running a hand through his hair. His hands moved to my shoulders, and suddenly he was shaking me, first softly, then hard.

"Cass. Cass. Cassie!"

I woke up with a start, looking around at the parking lot, meeting Alec's eyes in confusion. He sat in the drivers seat, eyebrows raised, waiting for me to say good bye and get out of the car. There had been no kiss, it had been a dream. A really realistic, hot, sexy dream. I sighed, running a hand through my hair, before opening the car door and jumping out.

"Thanks Alec." I managed to say before I closed the door and practically ran away, my cheek burning in embarrassment. I should have know it was a damn dream. He would never let me kiss him. He would never touch me like that. Jesus Cassie, I thought to myself, trying to clear my head of all the dirty thoughts. I was so engrossed with the thought of Alec I didn't even realise I was on a collision course with the one person I was not prepared to see right now. I ran right into his chest, and it was only by sheer luck that I didn't drop my bag.

"Wow little C, watch where your going." Will teased, his eyes alight with mischief, and I pulled away abruptly, not trusting myself to be too close to him in my present state, especially after he's been screwing Isabelle. I frowned at him, crossing my arms over my chest defensively, trying to hide my frustrations from him.

"Had fun with Isabelle, do you?" I asked, and his eyes were instantly cold, but he was still smiling. He shrugged, leaning against a near by locket, looking me up and down, making my stomach lurch. Please, not today will, I pleaded with my eyes, but he took not notice.

"Crumpled top, red cheeks, looks like you've been having more fun than me." He smirked, and I realised sleeping in Alec's car had actually given me the appearance of a girl who'd been recently fucked. I blushed, remembering my dream, which only made me look more guilty.

"Using my techniques already?" His voice was sharp, and I felt my skin come up in goose bumps at the thought of our lessons. The sensations coursing through my body were making me feel sick, and last nights booze and Chinese were starting to fight in my stomach.

"No." I stuttered, trying to swallow past the lump rising in my throat.

"Don't play innocent with me, I know what a bad girl you can be." He whispered suggestively, grabbing me and pulling me forward so that were were only inches apart, teasing me with his presence. My skin was on fire, and the queasy feeling in my stomach was increasing.

"Will please-" but I couldn't finish, I was chocking on the words as he moved even closer, pressing me against the lockers, his face obscuring my view of anything else.

"Bad girls must be punished." His eyes were twinkling dangerously, and as he moved forward, clearly getting his revenge for me turning away last night, I felt the queasiness take over, and the bile started to rise up my throat. I pushed away from him, running down the corridor, barely making it into a cubicle before everything came up. I threw up for a good ten minutes, and when I was done, I felt hollow and exhausted. I slumped back against the cubicle wall, closing my eyes, grabbing a tissue and wiping my face. Idiot I thought to myself. Now will definitely thought I was hopeless. What type of girl runs away from Will Herondale? Lesbians, that's who.

"Oh god he thinks I'm a lesbian." I whispered to myself, banging my head against the wall. Idiot. The bell rang for first lesson, and I slowly got to my feet, careful not to disturb my already upset stomach. I opened the door, stumbling over to the sink, looking in the mirror. My forehead was covered in swear, and I looked way too pale, but I quickly swirled my mouth out, popping a few pieces of gum into my mouth before I walked out of the bathrooms, still feeling sick.

I turned up late to music, not that Mr. Smith cared. I looked for my place and cringed. I sat next to Will this lesson. I slowly made my way to my seat, my legs wobbling, and I knew they were going to give out any moment. Will looked up when I was close, and he watched me carefully as I dropped my bag onto the floor and sunk into my chair, trying to appear calm as I struggled to breath. I braced my hands against the table top, feeling my stomach churn again. Great, I was going to be sick right here in class. Like my day could get any worse. As if the gods were listening to my every thought, Jem walked in, announcing to the teacher he had been at the dentists, and he took his usual place in front of me. Is it screw Cassie over day or something? First Alec, then Will, now Jem? Seriously, the world is not being kind today.

"Cassie, you okay?" Will asked, and I shook my head, trying to reach for my bag. Will got there first, picking my bag up easily and rooting through it, grabbing my water bottle and a couple paracetamol. He gave them to me, and I just about managed to swallow them before I exploded into a coughing fit.

"I think... I'm dying." I whined, and Will smiled, rubbing my back softly, handing me his water when I ran out.

"Food poisoning, I think. You're the one who had the chicken." He said, and I nodded, trying to breath deeply. I coughed again, my hands slipping from the table, and I started to fall feeling limp and numb.

"Wow, wow I got you." It was Jem that caught me as I slid out of my chair, his arms wrapping around my waist, pulling me into his chest smoothly. I looked up at him and smiled weakly as he helped me up, his eyes locked on mine.

"Thank you." I stuttered, and he smiled, helping me sit down again. I felt stupid just staring at him, but I didn't really know what else to say.

"You okay?" He asked, his voice like silk, and I nodded, my heart jumping.

"Yeah I'm okay, just a little dizzy." I said, smiling even though it made me feel even worse.

"Okay, as long as your sure." He smiled before he went to sit back down, his fingers splayed across the keys of the keyboard. I turned to look up at Will, but he seemed engrossed in his own keyboard, tapping the keys harshly as if they had done him a great misdeed. I felt my stomach twist, and I grabbed onto his sleeve, my nails digging deep into his flesh as I felt the convulsion, a shiver running hard through my body. He steadied me, his hands soft but reassuring on my waist, and I coughed again, feeling bile try to rise up my throat again.

"Take me to the bathroom." I pleaded, and in no longer than a second he was standing, grabbing both out bags and guiding me out of the door, shouting a half hearted excuse over his shoulder at Mr. smith. We walked a few steps before my knees buckled, and I was sliding to the floor, my head cloudy, feeling woozy and dizzy. Will was right there, scooping me up into his arms, linking my hands around his neck, arms under my knees and shoulders. I leant into his neck, trying to keep my eyes open.

"Cass, Cassie don't you dare go to sleep on me." He whispered urgently into my ear, and I tried to look up, but my energy, all of it was gone, and I felt so sick, every movement ached.

"Cassie I swear." He threatened only half heartedly, his arms tightening around me. I opened my eyes long enough to see we were going towards the front door and not the nurses office. There goes my 100% attendance record. The clean air made me feel a little better, and I struggled to free myself from his grip, but it was only when we reached his motor bike that he let me down. He fished out his bike helmet, giving it to me before sliding into the seat, gesturing for me to join him. I slipped onto the back, not sure where to put my hands. He didn't smile like I thought he would when he reached behind himself, grabbed my arms and wrapped them around his chest. I moved forward, pressing myself against his back, lending my cheek against his shoulder as he kicked the engine into life.

"Hold on, I'm going to take you home." He reassured before speeding out of the parking lot.

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**saucy Alec dreams, hot or what?! Aww Jem being all heroic. Will being gentle? Suit him or not? Food poisoning sucks. Review please guys xx**


	6. Lesson 3: not all is as it seems

**hey guys prewarning there's some fluffiness but also some heavy cassiexwill action so I hope you like it!**

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When we reached my house, he didn't even let me get off the bike on my own. He scooped me up into his arms and walked into my empty house. No one was home again. I closed my eyes, trying to fight off the nausea that the speed at which he was moving was causing me. I felt him lower me down, the couch beneath my back, a pillow under my head, and then he was pulling a blanket around me and I was curling up to combat the pains in my stomach. He brushed my hair off of my sweaty forehead, before walking out to the kitchen, the kettle boiling and the keys on the phone being dialled.

"Hey Veronica, it's Will. Yeah I'm okay, but I brought Cassie home from school, she wasn't feeling well. I'm going to look after her. No no, it's alright don't rush home. Can you just call in to school and tell them we're off sick? Thanks, bye." I listened as he hung up on my mother, then came in, carrying a tray with toast and a hot mug of herbal tea. He set it down on the coffee table, before turning back to me, the mug in one hand as he took my shoulders in the other, easily lifting me up. He sat, and I fell limply against his shoulder, my eyes barely staying open.

"Drink, you'll feel better." He ordered, and I groaned, lifting my arms with extreme effort and taking the cup off of him. I took a few small sips before I felt the bile rise again, and I jumped up from the sofa, running down the hall and into the bathroom. I fell to my knees, throwing up everything I could, my throat burning, my breath not coming easy, and when I was done, I slumped against the wall, tears running down my cheeks. I'm so stupid. I couched weakly, rubbing my mouth with some tissue. There was a soft knock on the door, and I shook my head, not that Will could actually see through the wood.

"Cass, can I come in?" He asked, and I grumbled a yes, quickly flushing the toilet before he could open the door. I smiled weakly, and he looked down at me, holding out a glass of water. I took it, drinking slower this time, before setting it down, blinking slowly.

"I want to go home." I whined, and he slid down the wall next to me, putting an arm around my shoulders and pulling me into him. I leaned on him, closing my eyes and wrapping my arms around him.

"You are home baby." He whispered into my hair, and even though I knew he was right, I didn't feel like I was home. I felt like I was in the most foreign place in the world, and I felt so alone it was stupid. I sobbed even though I had nothing to cry about, and he held me reassuringly, rubbing my arms, playing with strands of my hair, and when I stopped crying, he helped me stand up and walked me back to the sofa, sitting down and leaning me against him. He flicked on the TV, putting on mean girls, and I smiled despite all the aches and pains in my body. He really was a good nurse. We watched mean girls, then 27 dresses, john tucker must die and not another teen movie. As soon as I started to feel a little better Will fed me small pieces of toast, making me drink more herbal tea, and then half way through John tucker must die he pulled me down so that we were both lying down. I curled up against him, his shirt balled in my fists.

"You alright?" He asked, caressing my face softly, and I nodded, the drowsiness taking over. My eyes grew heavy as Mia Kirshner came on the screen, and then I was falling deep asleep.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of cheering crowds and whistles. I looked up at the TV, the football was playing. Will was fast asleep, snoring softly, smiling softly. He looked so strange. In a good way. He looked calm and sweet, like the little boy who befriended my sister when she was so young. I smiled, hugging him a little tighter. He took in a deep breath, his eyes fluttering open as he looked around sleepily.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." I whispered, my voice croaky, and he rolled his eyes, his arm contracting around my shoulders.

"You feeling better?" He asked, and I nodded, even though my stomach was still a little achy and my head was still spinning slightly. He smiled, before sitting up, affectively making me sit up too.

"Look this is going to seem really sick of me but we don't have a lot of private time together and I was thinking..." He raised an eyebrow, and I knew what he was suggesting. He was right of course, but I was worried about my upset stomach and that I was all sweaty and disgusting.

"Give me ten minutes." I asked, before jumping up and running up the stairs. I quickly charged into the bathroom, and I was appalled by my appearance. My hair was straggly, my face sweaty and pale, and my eyes had black bags under them. I she'd my clothes and quickly hopped into the shower. I scrubbed away the sweat, lathering my hair and rinsing before jumping out again in record time. I took a towel of the rack and started to brush my hair, applying some moisturiser as I did so. Once my hair was slightly tamed I brushed my teeth, swirled my mouth out with mouthwash and walked into my room, quickly putting on some underwear, a pair of denim shorts and a tight black shirt. I walked back down stairs, and found Will sitting on the coffee table, xbox controller in his hand as he played FIFA. He didn't look up when I came in, and I say down on the edge of the sofa, watching him. He was so engrossed, biting his lip slightly as he concentrated, and when he scored he muttered something under his breath as he smiled.

"Will." I said softly, and he turned, looking at me. He was halfway through a game, but he dropped the controller like it was on fire. He got up, walking towards me, a smile playing across his lips as he picked up a wet lock of my hair, giving it a twirl before tickling my nose with it. I giggled, batting his hand away, and he smiled, a real smile. Cute and light and Will.

"Lesson 3. Simple kiss. Alright? And that means simple, got it?" He teased, and I rolled my eyes, nodding anyway. He pulled me up, and when I was at eye level with him, his smile faded a little.

"First, the guy will do this." He whispered, touching my cheek softly, tilting my face up.

"Then he'll put his hand... On your waist." His other hand touched my waist, and I looked up at him, meeting his eyes.

"His lips will part, his pupils will dilate." His voice was deep, soft, as he demon stared this, his lips opening slightly as if he was about to take a breath.

"Then he'll lean forward. You have to tilt left, always left." He told me, and I obeyed, never breaking my stare. His eyelids dropped closed a little as he gazed at my lips.

"And..." I enquired, but I didn't get an answer, because he closed the space between us, kissing me softly. My eyes closed involuntarily, and I wanted to lean forward, but his lips on mine were too light, too soft to do so. In the space of a few seconds he was pulling back, looking at me.

"Little more action, you seem to let me take over too much." He told me, and I nodded, looking at his lips. I wonder what Jems lips will feel like. Soft? Like Wills, maybe better. I leaned forward, taking his advice. Our lips touched, and again it was short, sweet, soft, but I leaned in a little more, moving my lips against his. I pulled back, feeling empowered and in control. He looked down at me, his eyes large, and my heart started to pound as I stared at him, my breath coming fast.

"Good. Much better." He said finally, and I nodded, biting my lip, knowing it drives him crazy. I stopped in my tracks suddenly, confused with myself. I knew it made him manic, but I did it anyway? Since when was I looking for him to go crazy on me? What is going on? I didn't have time to voice these questions out loud before he grabbed me by the waist and kissed me, hard and fast as we fall onto the sofa, his lips working intricately across mine. He pushed me into the sofa, lying on top of me, opening his mouth and kissing me furiously. I moaned as his hand found the hem of my shirt and literally ripped it from my body, his fingers tracing my naval. My hands fumbled with his belt, and once it came undone I threw it to the floor, letting my hands slid up his stomach, feeling his abs. He pulled away a little, breaking our kiss, and I sighed, knowing I'd done everything wrong, had gone too far.

"Too fast, right?" I asked, but he shook his head this time, his hands on either side of my stomach.

"Oh god I just..." He whispered, looking at me, his eyes almost pained.

"What?" I asked, curious.

"I can't... I need to stop." He whispered, withdrawing himself, standing up and backing away a few steps. I sat up, looking at him in confusion, wondering what on earth I had done.

"Will." I said slowly as he almost tripped over the coffee table. He shook his head.

"Cassie listen to me." He started, looking at me funny.

"You need to stop trying to touch me. Because every time you do, I lose it. I lose myself. All I want to do is tear your fucking clothes off and do you over the coffee table. I'm a guy, Cassie. You may think I don't act like one, or I won't have the same wants, but I want to fuck you so bad." He shouted, and I stared dumbfounded at him, not knowing how to react to that. I stood, meeting his fevered eyes. He looked so desperate, so needy.

"Will I didn't know." I tried to calm him down, but he was having none of it.

"You're just an object of lust, and I want you, don't you get it? I'm a guy, I need to fuck you and you just don't get it. You don't get it!" He shouted so loud that I cringed. I felt my heart drop when he said I was just an object, and I folded my arms across my chest angrily.

"Well if it's so inconvenient to be around me, why do you do it?" I asked, and he laughed, looking at me like I was a stupid child.

"Because your my friend, Cassie, and I never saw you this way until now, when your hands are all over me like a horny teenager." He shouted, and my anger spiked.

"My hands all over you? You are the one pushing me into the sofa, you're the one who tore my shirt off. Guess what, Will, I am a horny teenager, and so are you." I spat, and he shook his head, his jaw setting.

"I think the moans and the breathy little sighs really show how much more you were enjoying that than I was." He shot, and my jaw locked, every muscle stiffening as I stared in utter rage at him.

"I thought you were nice earlier. Now I realise what a dick head you are. You're a user, and you need to get out of my house." I growled, and he laughed shortly, throwing his hands up in frustration.

"Fine, I'll go. Let's see how far you get with Jem without me." With that, he stormed out of the room, leaving his belt, and ran out of the front door, slamming it shut behind him.

* * *

**aww Will confessing his "feelings" for Cassie. So how's it gunna go from now on. No more lessons? Please tell me what you think of Wills cute ways towards Cassie when she was ill. Good? Bad? you know I love hearing from you? xx**


	7. Cobweb

**some emotional shit is about to happen guys. I want you. Right now. Get the tissues. now.**

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I sat on the sofa for a very long time, pulling my shirt back on and picking up his belt. I turned it over and over in my hands, anger boiling in my veins, playing his words over and over in my head. An object of lust, just an object of lust. Who the hell did he think I was? Some cheap girl who he could get off with whenever he felt like it? Well, I had become that, I thought to myself, which only angered me more, because he'd turned me into something I didn't want to be. Because now I was upset and angry and feeling things I should never be feeling. Will does not have a hold of me, I thought angrily as I stood up violently, dropping his belt onto the sofa.

"He does not control me." I whispered as I walked into the kitchen, turning on the oven and shoving dinner in harshly. I slammed the pots onto the stove, filing it with water and pouring in the pasta. Stupid Will, thinks he's so clever. Thinks he owns me. Damn him. Damn it all to hell.

"I hate you Will!" I shouted and smashed the oven closed fiercely, banging everything onto the counters, making as much noise as I could to vent my frustrations.

"Fuck you Will." I screamed at the boiling pasta, and it was only then that I realised I wasn't alone. He front door banged open, and I fell into silence, listening to the angry cursing. I didn't recognise the voice over the boiling and the over, and when the door opened,I was shocked. Will stormed into the room, heading straight for me, his stride purposeful and his face blank. I backed away from him until I was pinned against the work top and he was still moving towards me, his eyes dark.

"Just one more." He growled before taking my face in his hands, pushing me against the counter and capturing my lips with his, kissing me so hard and long that I forgot everything. I forgot my anger and my sadness and the oven and the pasta. I forgot that moments before he'd called me an object of lust. I just forgot because his lips were on mine and I couldn't even breath, and I fisted my hands into the front of his shirt. His hands gripped my chin hard like he was afraid I'd move away, but I wouldn't move, couldn't move even if I wanted to. My lips moved across his like he taught me, a little extension of what I'd learned today, and when he pulled back, his eyes were closed, and his lips were trembling. I moved my hands from his shirt to his face, my thumbs brushing against his lips, until I remembered what he said. 'You need to stop trying to touch me'. I dropped my arms to my side, but he didn't open his eyes. His hands were now braced against my shoulders, as if trying to hold himself up, and his back was hunched over. His eyes didn't open, not even when I leaned forward, my lips brushing his again, soft this time, reassuring. He looked broken. He didn't look okay right now.

"Will." I whispered, my body pressed against his, one hand in his hair, the other cupping his cheek. My lips were so close to his, my forehead leant against his own, but he didn't move. He was taking long, deep breaths, and the way his jaw was slacking, his shoulder sagging a little more made me worried.

"Will." I said a little more firmly, and this time he opened his eyes, looking down at me. His eyes were bright, and a small, sad smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

"The walls aren't sound proof, I could hear you. Shouting. It made me realise what a dick I was being. It angered me." He whispered, and I didn't say anything, afraid if I did the new Will would disappear and the old one would return.

"You said you hated me." He whispered so softly I almost didn't catch it.

"You said I was an object of lust." I pointed out, unable to contain my that sentence. He groaned like he was in pain, and I pulled on his hair, making him groan in a totally new way.

"I didn't mean that." He said, and I nodded, smoothing his hair down.

"Okay." I didn't say 'I know' because that would have been a lie, and I didn't say 'it's okay' because it really wasn't. He'd been a dick, and he knew it. But I was stupid too.

"If you'll take me back, I want to teach you. I really do. It'll help me refine my self control to do things little by little. Jem... He's a nice kid, and he deserves someone who knows what they are doing." Will said, and I sighed, not sure if I could do this again. The frustrations, the wanting, the needing. Will was right though, Jem deserved someone who knew what to do, and I wasn't going to work it out alone. But... I don't know why but a part of my brain resisted, wanted to slam the offer right back in his face and tell him where to go. I warred with myself for a few seconds, before nodding reluctantly, watching his face for any traces of anger at my hesitance. He just smiled.

"Stay for dinner, Willow will be glad to see you." I offered, and he grinned, pulling out of my reach completely, and I suddenly felt colder, like someone had just opened a window. He dived into the cupboards, pulling out 5 plates and setting them out nicely on the kitchen table. I tended to the pasta, stirring it, and when it was semi cooked, I mixed it with the sauce and put it in the oven.

"Veronica's famous pasta bake, huh?" He enquired, and I heard the wary undertone in his voice. He was right to speak that way. This pasta bake wasn't famous for its taste, though it was delicious, but my mother only made it when there was bad news. Last time, it was the news of my grandfathers death. Just the thought of the awful day makes my eyes water and my hands shake. I stare down at the empty pot, my vision swimming as my hand grips the spoon a little too hard. The clanging of cutlery silenced, and then Wills arms wrapped around my waist, pulling my aback against his chest.

"I'm sure it's fine, maybe she just felt like treating you." He whispered, and I nodded, getting a better grip on the spoon and myself, rubbing at my eyes roughly. He gave me a little squeeze, before pulling away and getting out the glasses, filling mine, his and Willows with OJ, my mothers with her favourite rose wine and leaving my fathers beer can untouched beside the glass. He knew exactly how this family worked, he'd sat at that table for years, on Christmas, birthdays, sometimes it felt like he was a permanent fixture there, almost like one of the chairs. His parents were away a lot, and he just seemed to like it here. Especially when Gabriel was here. Gabriel is my older brother, he's 19, and he comes home every few weeks from university, and judging by the amount of pasta sauce being cooked, he was coming home tonight.

"Set an extra plate." The words barely came out, but Will heard, and he stood still for a second, his mind racing just like mine was. Gabriel didn't come home a lot, but his presence along with the Famous pasta only reinforced my first thoughts. Something was happening. Will quickly pulled out a plate, and headed into the garage to look for an extra chair. We always put it away when Gabriel left, it took up too much room. When I was alone, I let my shoulders slump, looking at the clock. They'd be home any minute, and I wasn't prepared for this. I still felt sick, my headache was returning, and when I tried to find some paracetamol in the draws, I came up empty handed. I sighed, listening to the sound of Will dragging the chair through the door, and when I turned to look at him, i saw his cheeks were red and there was a cobweb in his hair. He put the chair down, dusting the cobwebs off of it with his hand.

"Done. It's turned cold, think a storms coming." He informed me as I leaned back against the counter. I looked out the window, and sure enough the skies were darkening and a violent looking purple cloud looked at the horizon. I pushed myself away from the counter, walking towards him, my hand reaching out to remove the cobweb. He seems startled, taking a step back, and I realised what this must look like to him.

"Cobweb." I said lamely, and he nodded, flushing a little, but I ignored it, moving my hand to his hair and disentangling the threads of web. He stood very patiently, looking me dead in the eyes as I did it, and when I was done he smiled, making a face as he plucked the cobwebs from his jeans, ruffling them into my hair. I squealed, trying desperately to get them out of my hair, but he got me in a head lock, putting more and more in my hair, laughing to himself.

"Will!" I screamed, clawing at his hands, and he roared with laughter.

"Say it, say Will is awesome." He prompted, giving me a very painful noogie.

"Never." I protested, trying to wriggle free.

"Then you leave me no choice." And then he tickled me. Right on my ticklish spot, my stomach. I shrieked laughing uncontrollably as he tickled me relentlessly. I tried to pull away, but there was no escaping his iron grip.

"Will... Stop" I tried to gasp past my laughter, finding it difficult to breath, and he laughed, doing it harder, until I couldn't even stand. I fell to my knees, laughing uncontrollably, dragging him down with me. We both lay side by side, laughing our heads off in a heap, and I feel good. I feel happy. I look at him, his laughter fading as he looks at me smiling. He reaches forward, taking a lock of my hair in between his fingers.

"Cobweb?" I ask, and he smiled a little more, meeting my eyes.

"No." He replies, and we might have kissed, we might have lost ourselves right there on the floor. If it wasn't for the sound of keys in the front door. I sat bolt upright, scramble,ing to my feet and going to check on the pasta. It was perfectly cooked, right on time. I grabbed the oven gloves and got it out, laying it in the middle of the table as the front door opens and I can hear Gabriel's laughter. The sound of it makes my heart jump, and I rush out into the corridor, looking at him and smiling. Gabriel's hair, much like my own in colour, is tousle led and his wide, bright green eyes are full of light and happiness. He is so tall now, he must have grown again, and he's so slender now too. He looks like my father for an instance, same angular face, same almost mature stance, then it's gone because he's running towards me and picking me up, spinning me round happily.

"Kitty Kat I've missed you the most." He tells me while squeezing the breath out of my lungs, and I laugh, hugging him back, before withdrawing, smiling up at him.

"Hey!" Willow walked in, carrying a box of cream donuts in her arms, sounding genuinely hurt. Willow is the odd one out in the family. She doesn't look like my mother, tough she has inherited her unnatural beauty. Willow has long, white blond hair like my grandmother had when she was young, and the wide brown eyes of my grandfather. She's so beautiful, and I understand why so many boys chase after her, I understand now why it wasn't a one time thing for Will and Willow to play together. He'd seen her beauty, he'd seen someone he'd liked. Willow walked over and hugged me with one arm, careful not to drop dessert. I pulled away from both of them, looking out onto the porch, where mother is slowly climbing the steps. Alone. My hear starts to hammer in my chest, and I look up at Gabriel, trying to find a trace of worry in his face, but I find none.

"Willow, Gabs, go help your father with the car while I talk to Cassie." She ordered, and I sighed in relief as Willow moaned, shoving the donuts in my direction. They walked off, Gabriel ruffling my hair and Willow sulking a little as my mother walked towards me, folders in her hands. My mother works for the US department of state as an accountant, and she travels nonstop, but all the late nights haven't taken a toll on her looks. Her coppery hair falls in delicate waves over her slight shoulders, her skin flawless and glowing, her eyes framed by dark, long lashes. Her green eyes, which are usually filled with warmth, are troubled.

"Cassie, hunny, how are you feeling?" She asked, setting her folders down on the coffee table just as Will emerged from the kitchen, all straightened out. Mum took my face in her hands, inspecting me closely, frowning.

"I'm better now, Wills been taking good care of me." I answered, and she looked to Will, smiling at him. Will was basically family, and my mother adored him.

"Oh thank you so much William, we are so grateful. Are you staying for dinner, darling?" She asked in that motherly tone of hers, and Will smiled, looking to me for further approval.

"If that's okay with you, Veronica." He said sweetly, and I rolled my eyes. He always turned on the charm around adults. Mum smiled at him, giving his shoulder a little pat.

"Of course, your always welcome here dear." She informed him, and he smiled again, moving out of the way so she could enter the kitchen. She smiled at us both, before taking her folders again and walking into the kitchen, going straight to the dirty dishes and pulling them into the sink. Willow and Gabriel returned carrying more of my mothers stuff, and finally I saw dad, locking the car, walking through the front door.

"Will!" Willow called, her whole face lighting up as she ran over, almost dropping my mothers work. He beamed at her, throwing an arm over her shoulder, pushing her playfully. I felt a little stab in my stomach, and I worried I was going to be sick again. I tried to keep calm as I walked over to my father, leaning up and kissing him on the cheek. He smiled, but the smile didn't touch his eyes.

"Hello kitten." He smoothed down my hair, giving me a quick hug. My father is a business man, and his suit looks posh, straining against his broad shoulders. His brown hair is longer than usual, and he looks tired, worn. The bad feeling I had gotten earlier was returning, but I tried to conceal it as my mother called us all to the table. I walked into the kitchen, taking my seat wedged between Will and Gabriel, with mother and Willow opposite us and father at the head of the table. Conversation instantly erupts as we question Gabriel on his time at University, and as mother serves us all pasta, he tells us all about the crazy party he attended, and how his professor had told him if he kept working, he may offer him a chance to join his elite group of students to work on a real case. Gabriel wants to become a lawyer. But the way he eyes the pasta tells me he knows something is going on too.

"So Cassie, anything new with you?" Gabriel asks around a mouthful of pasta, and I can't help looking sideways at Will. I can just imagine their faces if I told them I'd been fooling around with Will, in my room, on the couch, at school... They'd just kill me. Gabriel would choke on his pasta, Willow would laugh hysterically, and then Will would never be aloud back in the house.

"Oh, not much." I said, and Will choked a little on his drink. I kicked him under the table, and he kicked me back, soft but still enough to hurt. Willow eyed us, but thought nothing of it.

"How's work?" Will asked my father, who had been pretty much absent from the conversation this whole time.

"Oh, busy, flying out to Japan tomorrow to close some deals." He said vaguely, and I knew by the tension that settled after that sentence that it was all coming out now. My mother sat up a little straighter, setting her fork down carefully.

"Children, we have some news for you." She said slowly, and I tensed, knowing that wasn't good.

"Your father and I... We've been going over this for awhile." She said, and Willow looked up, meeting our mothers worried eyes. Gabriel keeps eating like he always does, distracting himself.

"Mum..." I started, but she held her hand up, silencing me. Will looks down at his plate, clearly feeling awkward.

"Cassandra do not interrupt me, please." She ordered, and I feel silent.

"I've been going to the doctors a few times lately. Done some tests. We got the results back today." She took my fathers hand, and I saw it all in his eyes. The fear, the pain, the barely concealed tears. I felt my throat close, my eyes growing heavy, and Gabriel dropped his fork dramatically, spluttering on his food.

"Since when have you been going to the doctors?" Willow asked, tears already on her cheeks

"I... I have cancer, Willow. It's benign but... Chemotherapy starts next week." She whispers, and I can see she's trying to hold it together. I can't breath, my vision is blurring and I can't breath, I can't see or think all I can feel is this ache, this black nothing that is just taking me over from the inside out. I know things are happening around me, I can hear the buzz of words, I think Willow is sobbing, and Gabriel is motionless at my back. But I can't even pay attention. All I can see is grass, and a hole, and a casket with my mothers name on it. All I can see is death and pain and blood.

"Where is it?" I heard Gabriel demand, and my mother is sobbing, hardly able to control her emotions. She must be so scared.

"Brain." My father answers. I choke on a breath, but the tears don't escape. I won't let them. I must be strong. I must be. For Father, for Willow. For Gabriel. For... But as soon as I think of Mother I choke again, my shoulders shaking, and then I feel someone's arms around me, pulling me forward, and Will is there, holding me as I cry into his shoulder, hair falling in front of my face. His shoulders shake, and I can tell this hurts him to, and I realise I have never seen Will cry, but I don't want to look up. I know I look like a mess, but the darkness is swelling inside me, washing over me like waves, drowning me, killing me inside. My eyes hurt, my throat is on fire, and every time I try to stop it rushes up and takes me down again.

"It's okay." He whispered, his voice cracking as his hands stroke down my back, trying to sooth me. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, trying to pull him down into the dark waters with me, and I know that makes me selfish, but I don't want to be alone anymore. I need him with me now more than I ever have. I sob so loud that I feel like my chest is cracking, and then it's all over, and I can't even explain what happens, because it's all black. Finally Will took me away, out of the kitchen, out of the house all together, into the cool night air.

"Sleep round tonight, you need some space." He whispered, and I nodded, not having the energy to deny him. I wanted to sit with my mother and tell her I love her, tell her it's all going to be okay, but I know I can't do that tonight. I can't do anything tonight.

"Will." I cried, but that was all I remember before I cried myself to sleep in his bed.

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**I warned you, I warned you all. Gabriel is all sweet in this, not a dick. So have fun with that. So yeah... I'm sorry for ruining you forever xx**


	8. Revealing the underneath

**hey! So I'm back and this is an extra long chapter for you guys! Please enjoy.**

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I woke up with a start, sitting bolt upright in bed, looking around at my foreign surroundings. At first I panicked, not recognising the messy room, the blue walls, the sports posters. Then I exhaled when I remembered last night, and I felt my eyes grow a little heavy at the thought. I shook my head, my eyes already puffy and my throat burning. My neck hurt, and I tried stretching, and realise at some point I'd gotten dressed last night. My clothes were folded neatly over the edge of a chair, and I was in one of Wills shirts, buttoned haphazardly, only reaching mid thigh, the sleeves way too long. I swung my bare legs out of the covers and got up, rubbing my eyes as I looked around. Will was asleep downstairs in the double sofa bed, but I took a few seconds to look around at his possessions. Packets of pharmaceuticals laid in pots, and a few half full bottles of heavy liquor were hidden in his shoes, but that's where bad boy Will ended. There were books, ones I'd read as well, lined on shelves, and piles of school work, even college brochures for Harvard. He was smart, I thought to myself as I looked at a report card with all A's, apart for one. Maths. He'd gotten a D. No wonder he wanted my help, he wanted to go to the same place as me.

I walked out of his room, wrapping his shirt more firmly around myself against the chill as I padded down the stairs, trying not to make any noise. The living room door was open a little, and I could see one of his sock clad feet hanging over the side of the bed. I moved to the door, laying my hand on it and opening it as quietly as possible. Will was fast asleep, sprawled across the bed, shirtless, his hair mused. I edged forward, lifting up the sheet and sliding in next to him, curling up against his side. I didn't think I had woken him, but automatically his arms wrapped around me, pulling me against him. He was still half asleep as he grabbed my leg behind the knee and hooked my leg over his waist, pulling me further forward until my cheek was pressed against his shoulder.

I didn't say anything, I just laid there, counting his breaths as I tried to sort through the news my mother had delivered last night. Why hadn't she told us she'd been going to the doctors? We could have at least prepared for is news. How on earth am I even... I can't even... I stopped, counting his breaths again, listening to his heartbeat as his fingers moved up to my hair, winding strands of it around his fingers, making me feel sleepy.

"Wakey wakey." He grumbled, but he sounded less awake than I did. I shook my head, not wanting to go to school today. He tilted my face up, and I looked at him, watching as he struggled to keep his eyes open. I frowned at him as one of his hands moves back to my leg, pulling me forward a little more, before stopping abruptly. His eyes go a little wide, and I take his face in my hands in worry, inspecting him.

"Will, Will what is it? What's the matter?" I asked frantically, and he shakes his head, smiling a little brushing strands of hair away from my face.

"You're hot when you're worried." He whispers, and for the first time I smell the alcohol on his breath. He's been drinking. I should have known that was how he'd deal with what my mother told us, this is how he dealt with emotional crap. He drank and drank until he could barely stand.

"Don't worry, I'm just suffering from a case of morning wood." He slurs out, and I blush, which only makes him smile more, pulling me forward until I'm all too aware of his 'wood'.

"You're all flushed, how cute." He tapped my nose before capturing my chin in his hand and kissing me lazily. I didn't resist, I stayed very still as his mouth moved slowly, sluggishly, lacking it's usual fire, but still feeling good. Except now he doesn't pull away when I laid my hands on his chest, fingers splayed, he opens his mouth, and then I feel his tongue, sensual and sexual against my own, caressing and exploring. I moan, my breath coming a little harder as we kissed slowly, his tongue talented despite his intoxication. The hand in my hair manoeuvred my face so I was closer, so he could access my mouth deeper and easier, and the other hand was restless on my shirt, pulling the buttons undone carefully, caressing my skin until I felt like I was falling apart, whimpering and craving his touch. Between my legs was growing hot and damp, and when he squeezed my ass, I cried out, pushing myself forward until every line of my body met his.

He broke the kiss, kissing softly down my jaw and neck, making me tilt my head back, my mouth open in pleasure as his tongue sent waves of lust rolling though my body. He pushed the material down my shoulders, taking it clean off, leaving me in just my underwear. I shiver as his hands move to cup my breast, his breath hot against the base of my neck and his tongue traces the line of my sternum, over the curve of my breasts, and I arch my back, biting my lip. His teeth graze my bra, pulling it down a little as his other hand moves to the hem of my pants, ready to yank them off. Something breaks through my clouded mind, I don't know what but something does, and I pull back a little. Big mistake.

His teeth, which were in the process of tugging my bra off, clamped down automatically in response to the jerk, and the clasp of my bra snaps, and he's left with my bra in his mouth and my boobs on full display. I squeal, rushing to grab my top, but he halts me, holding my hands still as his mouth opens in almost shock. He stares right at me, but I somehow don't feel exposed.

"You're so beautiful." He whispers as he looks up at me, releasing my wrists to let me move, but I don't. I trust him. I need him to make me confident. He takes my face in his hands, leaning forward to brush his lips against my own. He kissed me with a renewed gentleness, his hands on my waist, and my breasts brushed against his chest, making him moan softly, his hands tightening on my skin. I pull away, knowing this is wrong, knowing I should not be doing this when my mother was ill and he was drunk.

"Will, you're drunk. Stop." I warned, pulling my top back on, not bothering with my bra. He huffed, sinking down onto his pillows, looking at me like a sulking child.

"Why are you being responsible?" He asked angrily, and I smiled, leaning forward to look into his eyes, trying to get him to focus.

"Because you'd regret this. You would. And me... Well I'm a virgin Will. And I want to lose it to someone I love." I explained, and he pouted, taking my face in one of his hands, his lips trembling, his eyes wide.

"Don't you love me?" He asked, his voice shaky. He sounds so childlike, so innocent and broken. I run a hand through his hair, wanting to hold him to my chest and hug him.

"Of course I do, Will. Just not in that way." I said, and his lips trembled all the more.

"I love you." He whispers, tears falling down his cheeks, and I can feel my eyes growing heavy. I bite my lip, holding myself together.

"You're drunk." I blow him off, when I'm drunk I say I love everyone. He can't be serious. I know he's not. He shakes his head, his hair tossing, tears falling onto my arm.

"No, no! I-I'm not. Okay I am but I'm not. I... I'm so confused." He said in a rush, and I couldn't help smiling. I'd never seen Will not be able to talk his way out of something. He always had an answer for everything. Now he was so vulnerable that it made me feel protective.

"You don't have to say anything." I reassured him, but he shook his head.

"Kissing you is fucking amazing. I think about you all the time. Like yesterday I couldn't stop thinking about you after our fight and I wanted you back. Just now I'd do anything to just touch you and feel you and kiss you until everything else fades away. I told you yesterday I just want to rip your clothes off all the time, why won't you believe me?" And the thing is, I would have believed him, if he hadn't hiccuped and slurred his way through the whole thing. If he would have been sober I would have believed him, but not now. He sees the reluctancy in my eyes and seizes me by the arms, forcing me to look at him.

"What can I do to prove it?" He begged, and those 7 words could change everything. I stared at him, looking into his eyes, and for a moment I see Alec. I see sweetness and kindness, I see Alec and I like seeing Alec in this situation. Confusion rises inside myself, and I internally sigh. I didn't need my feeling for Alec remerging, especially with my feelings for Jem and Will. I stopped short, pulled back by that thought. Feelings for Will? Feelings for Will! Oh god, no. That's not right. Sure, I like him kissing me, but that's because he's talented, because he knows what he's doing, so any girl would like it. These are not feelings, I tell myself as I stare into his eyes.

"I don't know." I said finally, and he frowns, moving forward a little to meet my eyes.

"Kiss me, kiss me and you'll see how much I need you." He ordered, and I almost didn't fall for it. Almost. I leaned forward despite all the instincts in my body telling me no and kissed him, so soft, too soft for my liking. He instantly grabbed me by the hair and dragged me down, his tongue in my mouth as he pulled me on top of him so I'm straddling his still prominent morning wood. He bites my lip like an animal, his hands guiding my hips, moving them against him in a rhythm that makes me moan. He draws one hand up and cups my breast, groping as he cries out in pleasure.

"Oh god I love you." He cries as my wet panties grind through his boxers, and I moan again as his hand leaves my breast and grips my head, dragging me down to kiss him again, so hot and heavy I feel dizzy. His tongue in my mouth and his hard on against my heat makes me want to tear his clothes off, and I can feel every fibre of my being buzzing as he takes off my shirt once more, pressing my breasts against his chest.

"Will. Will!" I moan as he pinches one of my nipples, and he groans, thrusting against me wildly, his mouth moving against mine furiously. I meet his movements, rubbing against him, and when I think of Jem, I can imagine me and him together like this, and with this practice I know I can please him as much as I please Will.

"Fuck yes!" Will moans as he squeezes my sore breasts, his eyes squeezing shut as he jerks hard against me, his muscles clenching slightly as he bucks underneath me, and he reaches down and pulls my hips so hard against him I feel a wave of pleasure crash against me, and I fell against his chest, crying out as he keeps grinding, relentless.

"Yes Cassie baby! Cum for me." I want to tell him that's not what's happening but then I'd be lying, because my walls clench and I spasm out of control, my nipples rubbing into his chest hard as I can no long support my weight, his tongue still deep in my mouth as I moan and cry and whimper. I kiss him back even though I have no energy, I kiss him so hard I can't breath, and I push my tongue into his mouth and kiss him like any second now we'll both die. He jerks underneath me and moans low in his throat, and I can feel his hard on twitch as he comes underneath me.

"Cass. Cass. Cass." He whispers as he comes, and in that moment I know I was wrong. I had feelings for Will alright. Ones I couldn't deny. But I had feeling for Alec and for Jem too. No matter what this was, lessons or drunken mistakes, it wasn't real. Will and I, we weren't real, and that's why it hurt so much to fall off of him, grabbing my clothes and dashing out of his house, into my own, and slamming the door. We could never be together, and I accepted that. These feelings, they were nothing, because he had Isabelle and I had Jem. Yet thinking this all through doesn't make me feel any better, thinking it through doesn't stop the hollow ache in my chest, doesn't stop the tears that form as I see my mother lying on the sofa wrapped in her duvet. I need to get this over with, I think, walking towards her.

"Mum." My voice cracks, and she looks up instantly, smiling weakly. I wish last night never happened, I want to shout, but I keep my mouth shut. She moves up on the couch, lifting up the covers, and I slide in next to her, feeling comforted as she puts her arm around me and hugs me tightly.

"Sweetie, I know this is hard." She whispered, and I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to hold it together.

"Things are going to change around here. There might be more work for you, less time with us. But I want you to know, just like I've told Willow and Gabriel, I love you very much." She hugs me so tight I can barely breath, but I hug her back, never wanting to let her go.

"I love you too." I replied, and my mother sniffs, holding me still, her heart beat in my ears, strong and loud, and that's how I know she'll get through this. She's strong, she won't go down without a fight. My phone buzzes in my pocket, disturbing the moment, and I draw it out, looking at the text.

Will: I'm sorry.

"What's he sorry for?" Mum asked, and I shrugged, pushing my phone back down into my pocket.

"You know... He's a good kid. You should cut him some slack." She informed me, and though I didn't agree with her about the slack, I nodded not wanting to argue. Mum gave me one last squeeze, before letting me go, pushing me away slightly.

"Alec will be here soon, go get ready." She ordered, and I trooped up stairs to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I shuck off my clothes, surprised at how damp my pants actually are, and shower quickly, aware of the fact I was running late. I dressed quickly into a pair of shorts and a navy top, and I barely had one shoe on when the knock came at the door. I hopped down the stairs, trying to pull on my shoe and answered the door, and there Alec was waiting, as usual.

"Hey Al." My mother called, and he waved cheerily at her, picking my bag up off of the floor for me as I finally pushed on my shoes, before stepping out of the house, calling a hasty good bye over my shoulder and slamming the door shut. Alec gave me a funny look, and I looked at him curiously as I walked down the path towards his car, not knowing what his problem was.

"What's up?" He asked as we clambered into the car, and I was taken aback, though I shouldn't have been. Alec always knew when something was wrong, even before I knew it myself, so there was no point lying to him. I stared at the dashboard for a second, collecting strength I didn't know I had, before taking a deep breath.

"My mum... She's not well. She has cancer. A brain tumour." I said flatly, and I myself am surprised by the lack of emotion in my voice. Alec reaches forward and takes me by the shoulders and hug me, and I'm so relieved that I can finally feel something innocent, untainted by sex, something just meant to comfort, without any ulterior motives. I let him support me, just like he always has, and it feels good to relax, to collapse. He pats down my still wet hair, and my phone buzzes wildly as a stream of texts come through. I pull back, and Alec puts the car into gear as I read the messages.

Will: look I'm sorry okay?

Will: don't ignore me

Will: shit, I just had a shower and came back to myself, wtf happened

Will: what I said... Forget it

Will: how drunk was I?

Jem: I got worried when you weren't in maths, are you okay?

The last message surprises me, I didn't even know I had Jems contact. I went into my contact list and clicked on Jem, and saw there was a side note. It said "you can thank me later little C" the date was before our first lesson. Will... I trail off, looking down at the message and blushing slightly.

"What are you smiling at? Are you sexting?" Alec teased, and I rolled my eyes, typing my reply to Jem.

Me: yeh I'm okay, what did I miss?

I sent it, feeling stupid, knowing he wouldn't text back. I was about to shove my phone into my bag when it vibrated. I switched it on, ready for a tirade from Will, but it was Jem. He text back!

Jem: Mr.H had a fit cus his 'star pupil' left and Tessa nearly set fire to the curtains.

Me: no way! What was she even doing near the curtains?

Jem: smoking something underhand. Got us out of loci so I'm not complaining.

Me: loci? Come on that's easy

Jem: not all of us can be brilliant like you :D

I smiled at that last text, and before I could think of something witty to text back, my phone was ringing.

Gabriel.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, a million anxious thoughts running through my mind. What if mum had taken a turn for the worst, was willow okay? Did they need me home?

"Cass have you got your key?" He asked, and I exhaled, glad it was something as simple as a key.

"Yeah, why?" I asked as Alec pulled into the parking lot, cutting the engine and staring at me expectantly.

"No ones home tonight, taking mum to the hospital, Dads working and Willows got some stupid recital thing, so I can lock up yeah?" He asked, and I heard Willow in the back ground shouting angrily that it wasn't stupid. It felt weird to have this conversation with Gabriel, he hadn't been home in so long, this was foreign.

"Sure, I gotta go. Bye." I said quickly, realising everyone was heading into class.

"Bye." He barely even said the word before I disconnected the call.

"Thanks for the lift Alec." I said, opening my door to step out, but Alec grabs my wrist, looking at me playfully.

"Plant one on me Cassie." He said, tapping his cheek, and I huffed, leaning forward and kissing his cheek softly before running to class. I barely made it before the bell, and when I say down, I realised that someone else was also running late.

"No William today? Anyone seen him?" asked, and I looked around, realising that no one had seen him, and I wasn't about to say otherwise. Mr. Harris tutted under his breath, proceeding down the register, and we were almost done when Will swaggered in, helmet under his arm, a still lit cigarette hanging between his teeth. He winked at girls as he passed, and they all swooned, but I just stared. He didn't even cast me a glance as he sat down, reclining back in his chair, stubbing his cigarette out on the table. said nothing, he just shook his head, before starting the lesson. He started writing on the black board, and suddenly my phone buzzed. I looked at the screen, and even though Jem was right next to me, he'd text me. I looked sideways at him, smiling, and he grinned back, gesturing for me to read it.

Jem: so what happened with you and Will?

How the hell did he know? I thought, feeling my cheeks burn in embarrassment, I felt so exposed. Were Jem and Will friends? Did they talk a lot?

Me: what do you mean?

His phone didn't buzz or beep, but he answered immediately.

Jem: he usually looks at you in the morning. Not today. What happened?

Will stares at me? I blush harder, looking up at where Will sits, plucking at lose threads, chatting up the nearby girls. Isabelle was nearest to him, and she was flashing her cleavage and giggling like an idiot. I scowled at her, wishing her one brain cell would just explode already.

Jem: did you two have a fight?

Me: no... Something like that

Jem: Something to do with Isabelle?

Damn, he'd seen me glaring at the two of them. She was rubbing her heel clad foot up and down his leg now, and he was grinning seductively, moving his chair closer to her, moving hair off of her face.

Me: no. Nothing to do with her.

Jem: he talks about you

Me: really?

Isabelle was now tracing her manicures nails over his lips, outlining them, and he leaned forward, tangling his hand into her hair and pulling her forward. They kissed right there in the middle of class, and not even a small kiss, a proper deep, sexual, passionate kiss. I could see his tongue against hers, and I felt sick.

Jem: he thinks your a good friend. That your sexy. Probably shouldn't tell you that bit.

Me: he didn't say that

Jem: he did! And anyway... It's true.

I smiled at that last bit and looked up, meeting Jems eyes. He smiled sweetly, blushing a little, and I smile back.

Jem: do you want to go out some time?

I suppressed my giggles of excitement, and tried to act cool.

Me: sure, when?

Jem: homecoming party tonight, I'll pick you up at 8?

Me: sure.

And that's when our conversation stopped because had walked over and was seizing my phone. I watched in horror as he looked down at the messages, then at me.

"Is more interesting than my lesson?" He asked me, but didn't wait for the answer. He turned to the class.

"Shall I show you all how interesting James is?" Everyone cheered, and I shook my head, mortified already. God don't read out the bit about Will. Please don't read that bit. Please. Please. Will had turned around already, and was looking at me with an unreadable expression. started reading, and my heart dropped when the first text he read was "he thinks your a good friend. That your sexy. Probably shouldn't tell you that bit." I sat there in complete embarrassment, my cheeks burning as he finished, smirking as the whole class stared at me and laughed. My head was hammering, and I felt the panic attack working itself up. My fingers trembled, and so did my lips, and I tried to keep calm, I really did. But all I could hear was Isabelle mocking me and her friends all laughing mercilessly. took my phone and put it in his desk, but I was barely concentrating. My vision blurred and my heart raced dangerously, blood rushing in my ears. I opened my mouth to call for Will, because he was the only one who knew what to do, but I already felt his hands on my back, soft as the bell went and he grabbed my bag, tugging me into the corridors, into the throng of people. The voices only made my head spin more, and Wills hands didn't reassure me like they used to. They reminded me of passion and sex, but not comfort, not anymore.

"Cassie you had to do this today didn't you." He cursed, leading me toward the boys bathroom.

"Today, for gods sake. This morning. Us. Now this. Isabelle was really coming on to me, Cassie. Why did you do this today?" He hissed, sitting me down in one of the sinks. I started to breath really heavily, my chest heaving, my eyes burning, and Will ran one of the other taps, dampening a tissue and dabbing at my forehead.

"I'm sorry." I managed to choke out.

"And then all that stuff with Jem. Jesus Christ Cassie!" He shouted, and I shoved at his shoulders, wanting him away from him.

"Why do you care?" I managed to choke out, and this anger and hostility was not helping. I was shaking hard, my teeth chattering, and my heart wouldn't stop hammering.

"Are you for real? Are you fucking kidding me? This morning I was basically fucking you and now your asking why I care? Your a piece of work Cass." He barked, and my vision cleared enough for me to see his face. He was angry and sad all at the same time. I grit my teeth, trying to gain control of my emotions, channeling them all into my anger at Will.

"I'm not a piece of work, William. You're the one snogging a dumb bitch in the middle of the class room. You don't care. You'll never care." I said through gritted teeth, every word meant to cut deep, and I saw him flinch. He looked at me, his eyes sharp and sad.

"I only kissed Isabelle because you were all smiley with Jem." He informed me matter of factly, and I shook my head in disgrace. I slapped him then, making a satisfying clapping sound, and even though I didn't like Isabelle, she deserved to be treated with a little respect. Wills head turned with the impact, and he held his cheek, completely surprised.

"You jack ass. You're such a user. You use Isabelle, you use me. Well no more." I got up, struggling, wobbling slightly, making my way over to the door. Will didn't move after me, but he turned, looking at me with fury in his eyes, his whole face plunged in anger.

"You're the one who used me to get to Jem. You act all innocent but your the one who used me!" He shouted after me, but I was already out the door. His words cut into my chest, and I started to cry as I walked to my next lesson, my heart thumping off rhythm, every thump like a stake through my heart.

I wanted Will back.

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**ohh saucy will and Cassie at the beginning. Isabelle you minx. Cassie finally standing up to Will, but Will is pretty right about her using him. What did you think? Good? Bad? Please comment guys I love hearing from you xxx**


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